INTRO

In our April 10th, Men’s Healing Matters webinar, Greg Mayo, Men’s Healing Strategist at Support After Abortion, discussed The Male Volunteer and various aspects as it relates to who they are, reasons they don’t volunteer more, and methods for equipping them with the necessary tools for success. 

THE DATA

“In regards to the male volunteer, the first thing we need to do is establish a little bit of context.” Greg shared a study from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics which found that women are 30% more likely to volunteer than men. The statistics also showed that volunteering among men spikes right after high school and then picks up again between the ages of 40 and 45. Greg discussed various reasons for why volunteerism is more likely to occur at those times in a man’s life. He suggested that after high school, a man could have more free time or need volunteer experience, and reasoned that between the ages of 40 and 50, household responsibilities could be lessened as children grow and become more autonomous. “What about the gap in the middle?,” Greg asked and continued by stating, “Many are working, raising families, and just busy with life.”

Greg shared the three key areas that men volunteer in. According to the data, 33% serve in religious organizations, where they take on tasks like mowing, facility maintenance, or ushering. 18% volunteer with youth or recreational sport leagues as coaches or referees, and 15% get involved with social or community service organizations such as food pantries or The Boys and Girls Clubs. Greg pointed out that the common thread between these three sectors where men get involved the most is giving their time in areas where they’re actively doing something.  

WHY DON’T MEN VOLUNTEER?

“Why don’t men volunteer? I think that’s the question probably everybody listening right now has,” Greg said. Citing an article titled, Men in Social Service Volunteering, he explained that the first reason they don’t is because they haven’t thought of it, stating, “While it sounds simplistic, men typically just don’t think about volunteering.”  He continued explaining that men are often happy to help, but according to the article, because it may not occur to them, they need to be asked directly. He noted that the article also pointed out that the term volunteering doesn’t resonate with men. 

Greg shared the second reason that men don’t volunteer is because they believe it’s too hard to get started. He stated, “When I say it’s too hard to get started, what I mean is they don’t get a response from organizations that they reach out to and try to volunteer with, or there’s a really high bar for entry into volunteering.” He described how some organizations have lengthy processes that entail assessments and various tests, and while they may be necessary to fully develop a volunteer, looking for ways to shorten the process would be beneficial to getting more men involved. 

He told a story about a man he knew who was volunteering at a pregnancy resource center. Although the man had his own abortion healing story and was passionate about the cause, he had stopped volunteering there. When Greg asked him why, the man said that he had been giving his time for over six months, but had done nothing except take assessments, tests, and classes. The man commented, “I showed up to volunteer, not to take classes.” Greg said, “When we put a lot of spikes in the road on the way to a guy getting started, that’s a barrier.”

Greg went on to say the third reason that men don’t volunteer is they tend to prioritize work. He said, “Part of that is men are taught that a lot of their value is in their work and what they provide.” According to the article, studies suggest that women generally work fewer hours than men which makes women more likely to volunteer. However, “As times have changed, so has this pattern. Make the most of more stay-at-home dads and men with more flexible hours who may work from home.” 

Another reason Greg shared is that men feel they don’t have anything to offer a program. He explained how this idea can be perpetuated when men attempt to volunteer but are met with all-female messaging and marketing, stating, “If a man goes to volunteer anywhere, we already know more women volunteer than men, if all the volunteers are women, all the materials are for women, all the testimonials are from women, it just compounds the message that Hey, you’re a guy, you don’t have anything that we need here.” Greg asserted that if that is not the message we want to convey, then we must look at how we can change it to make men feel welcomed and wanted. 

HOW TO APPEAL TO THE MALE VOLUNTEER

“How do we appeal to male volunteers and get them to stay?” Greg asked. He cited the article Ten Ways to Appeal to Male Volunteers from The Volunteer Management Report, and said that the first way is to specifically ask them. He reiterated how events, marketing, and messaging mostly appeal to women, resulting in men assuming that women will sign-up to help. He explained that men need to know their help is needed, and this can best be done by directly inviting them to come. 

“The second thing is, put them to work. When a man shows up, give him something to do,” Greg said. He explained how this doesn’t mean pushing them into something they aren’t prepared for, such as talking to a male client in the waiting room, but rather giving them something they are capable of doing right away.

Greg said that the third way to appeal to men is to avoid “recruiting guilt trips.” He explained how this is when you try to make people feel bad to get them to volunteer. He went on to say that this will not result in getting the best out of someone, which leads to not serving clients in the best way. “You want to motivate them, not make them feel guilty,” the passage stated.

“Men like to fix things,” Greg said as he introduced the next way to appeal to men. Let them solve problems. “I’m not talking about board-level problems, but give them a problem. Let them find a solution.” When men can solve problems, they feel more involved and needed. 

Another way to appeal to male volunteers is to give clear directions. He stated that most men are goal-oriented and giving them clear direction on what is needed, when it’s needed, and why it’s needed will allow them to complete the task and feel accomplished.   

“The next thing is: use high energy,” Greg said. He explained that energy levels don’t have to be phony or over the top, but they can’t be somber either. He highlighted the energy that comes from sports and action movies that “gets guys riled up.” He stated, “They want to feel that energy, that sort of Braveheart moment where they’re going to go charging off.”

Greg went on to mention that another way to appeal to men is to offer something for free such as a t-shirt. He stated that although it may seem silly, guys like to know what to wear, everyone looks the same, and guys like free stuff.  

Greg stated that giving feedback appeals to men. He shared that men value knowing how they’re doing and that “they’re bringing value.” Explaining to them what needs to be done differently or what they are doing right keeps them from wondering whether they are being impactful and effective. 

Greg shared that another way to appeal to male volunteers is to be honest and authentic. He shared a personal lesson learned from his stepfather about the value of genuine interactions. Greg emphasized how sincerity fosters meaningful connections, echoing insights from previous interactions with other men’s ability to detect authenticity. He advised against pretense, encouraging genuine communication and interactions with volunteers. While promoting positivity, Greg underscored the significance of conveying praise and encouragement sincerely.

The last way Greg mentioned to appeal to male volunteers is to thank them. He pointed out how although it’s a simple thing, many men feel unseen and invisible, and showing gratitude goes a long way. He said, “Whether it’s volunteering or working 14 hours a day on an oil rig, they don’t feel like anybody cares. If you thank somebody, honestly just thank them, that will mean the world to that guy.” It’s important to acknowledge right away that you appreciate their being there and thank them for showing up.

IDEAL QUALITIES FOR A MALE VOLUNTEER

“Finding the right male volunteers is not throwing spaghetti against the wall and hoping it sticks,” Greg said. He emphasized the importance of properly vetting volunteers to ensure they are the right fit. He stated, “The male volunteer is not only representing your organization, but he is, for better or worse, for good or bad, impacting the clients that he serves.” Greg outlined seven qualities the ideal male volunteer possesses: consistency, authenticity, ability to listen, curiosity, an ability to connect, commitment to healing, and belief in the mission. 

The first quality Greg introduced was consistency. He highlighted how important it is to find male volunteers who will show up when they are supposed to, saying, “If he doesn’t show up, and you’ve got guys scheduled to come in and talk to him, you’re failing those clients. They’re not getting the help they need, so consistency is hugely important.” 

Next Greg shared that authenticity is another important quality for a male volunteer. He stressed that the ideal person must communicate authentically and be genuinely interested in the people he is serving. 

“The third thing is: He needs to have the ability to listen,” Greg said. He explained that we can learn pretty quickly during the interview process whether he knows how to listen or not. He suggested that there are times when a person could be coached, but for those who can’t, finding things for them to do that aren’t client-facing would be beneficial, emphasizing that the wrong volunteer can do more damage than good. 

Next Greg said that another quality a male volunteer should have is curiosity. “He needs to be naturally curious,” he said and highlighted that this doesn’t just apply to curiosity with clients, but they should be genuinely curious about the organization as well. Greg explained that in addition to being curious relative to clients, a healthy curiosity about what the organization is doing, what opportunities there are for him to serve in, or how he can improve and better himself are all important.  

“He needs to have the ability to connect with the men that he serves,” he continued, “Connection, consistency, authenticity, ability to listen, and curiosity, if he’s got those first four, he’s going to have the ability to connect with men.” Greg stated that the ability to connect is a crucial element in relationship building, especially in abortion healing. He said, “If he can connect with them and gain their trust, then he has a better opportunity of helping them walk the path of healing.”

Greg shared that another important quality for a male volunteer is that he be committed to his own healing. He stated that it doesn’t necessarily have to be abortion related. Everyone, whether they’ve experienced abortion or not, likely has something they can heal from. He said that healing is a necessity for anyone who wants to be an effective volunteer or employee. “It’s a fact that the less healed we are, the less impactful we are at helping other people find healing. It’s also a fact that the more we work on our own healing, the better we can serve others,” Greg said. He cautioned that if a person is trying to work or volunteer in a setting where healing is the intent, and they are not working on themselves, they may have the wrong motives. He emphasized that healing is always ongoing and we should continually look to grow and improve. 

The final quality Greg mentioned was believing in the mission, “They need to believe in what you’re doing and they need to buy into how you’re doing it,” he said. He pointed out that individual organizations may have their own way of accomplishing their missions, but no matter their method, the volunteer must believe in the mission of the organization. He recounted a story from when he coached youth soccer and one of the other coaches was there only because his wife had told him he had to coach. This highlighted to Greg that not everyone volunteers for something because they believe in it. It also demonstrated to him that when motivation is lacking, commitment suffers, leading to a decline in the quality of the time devoted. 

TAILORING A VOLUNTEER PROCESS THAT RESONATES WITH MEN

Greg reiterated how imperative it is to put men to work. He emphasized that it should be one of the first things done in the process, stating, “Put these men to work. Most men are doers. If you give them something to do, they’ll be engaged.” He shared about his experience working at pregnancy centers and hearing complaints from other male volunteers regarding endless classes before getting to do anything. Greg reminded us that volunteerism among men picks up around 40 to 50, which means a lot of the demographic may have extra time to give, and they want to give it somewhere they feel useful. 

“Men need to know what they’re doing and why they’re doing it,” Greg said as he discussed the importance of providing clear objectives and directions. He explained how taking the time to explain in a clear and concise manner what the end goal is and any necessary steps to accomplish it will set the male volunteer up for success. He suggested that this could be a part of the training process and will result in more impactful volunteers. He encouraged providers to explain goals and objectives and then train male volunteers to ask themselves, What’s the goal? When a client comes in and he’s considering abortion or has been impacted by abortion, what’s the goal? What’s the objective? I’m going to go talk to this guy. I’m going to be compassionate. I’m going to be a good listener. I’m going to be authentic. Why am I doing that? What am I trying to get to? “And then you work with him on how to get there. When we do that, we see men that are deeply impactful.” 

The last part of the process that Greg touched on was helping the male volunteer to continue in his own healing journey. He recommended using Support After Abortion’s referral directory as an essential resource for connecting men to healing providers that best fit their needs. Greg stated that the more healing that takes place, the more effective and impactful the man will be for the organization and clients. He described this as part of the ripple effect of healing, which creates possibilities much bigger than imaginable. He explained that this is why making healing an on-going part of the process is so imperative. 

CLOSING

In wrapping up the webinar, Greg reminded us:

  • Women are at least 30% more likely to volunteer than men and men’s volunteering spikes following high school and again between 40-50 years old. 
  • Most men volunteer in religious or community organizations, or youth sports. 
  • Reasons men don’t volunteer: they don’t think about it, it’s too hard to get started, they tend to prioritize work, and they think they don’t have anything to offer. 
  • The article Ten Ways to Appeal to the Male Volunteer shows how to appeal to male volunteers and get them to stay. 
  • The ideal qualities for a male volunteer, which includes traits such as consistency, being on time, authenticity, being a good listener, curiosity about the clients and organization, the ability to connect, commitment to their own healing, and belief in the mission. 
  • Tailor your volunteer process to resonate with men:  put them to work; give them clear objectives, directions, and goals; create spaces that allow healing to be a continual process; and validate and thank them for being there.

NEXT STEPS

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