How one woman found hope and healing after a deeply personal at-home abortion experience—and how it’s changing her life and relationships today.
This is Anna’s story of healing after abortion. You’ll discover how she moved from overwhelming guilt and isolation to finding peace, connection, and strength. If you’re struggling with similar emotions after abortion, Anna’s journey shows that recovery and hope are possible.
WHY WOMEN’S HEALING AFTER ABORTION MATTERS
When abortion becomes part of your story, it can feel like everything shifts—but no one sees it. On the outside, life keeps moving. On the inside, you’re left reeling.
Maybe it was a decision you made quickly. Maybe you felt like you didn’t have a choice. Maybe you’re still trying to sort out the emotions that followed.
Anna knows what that’s like. Her abortion wasn’t her first—but it was the one that broke her open. In this story, she shares what led her to that moment, what haunted her afterward, and how she found connection, healing, and strength.
If you’ve experienced abortion and wondered, Why am I still feeling this way?, this is for you. If you’ve struggled with guilt, grief, shame, or just felt stuck—Anna’s story is a powerful reminder that your feelings are real, and your healing after abortion matters.
If you’re struggling with painful emotions after abortion, help is available right now. Contact our After Abortion Line at 844.289.HOPE (4673).
WHY WOMEN’S ABORTION STORIES LIKE ANNA’S MATTER
At Support After Abortion, we know stories like Anna’s matter—not just because they raise awareness, but because they break the silence.
When someone shares, Here’s what I went through—and here’s how I started to heal, it can give others permission to stop carrying it alone and start healing.
Research supports what we’ve seen: storytelling creates connection, fosters empathy, and opens the door to recovery. And for the storyteller, it can be transformative. (We share more on this in our The Power of Storytelling webinar.)
Anna said it best when she talked about sharing her journal entry with her healing group:
“They looked at me with compassion and understanding… It was like all the weight came off. I could breathe.”
That’s why we created this series. Real stories. Real people. Shared with care.
Keep reading for the full transcript of Anna’s video, powerful moments that didn’t make the final cut, a behind-the-scenes look at how we honor these stories, and tips to care for yourself after hearing someone’s pain and challenges.
“I’M STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT”: ANNA’S STORY OF PAIN, GUILT, AND HEALING AFTER ABORTION
Now, let’s hear Anna’s story in her own words…
THIS TIME WAS DIFFERENT
Hello. I’m Anna, and this is my story.
It’s been four years since my abortion. We had a previous abortion years before when we were young and our relationship was still very new. That abortion didn’t really affect either of us.
But, this time was different.
When I was invited to share my story, I pulled out the notebook I wrote in when I was going through my after-abortion healing group. As I read it, I remembered just how sad and broken I was. It was about a month or so after the abortion that I wrote:
THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
“I sat on the bathroom floor staring at those two lines with my husband staring at me in the doorway. That night I filled out an online questionnaire to order the pills. Two days later, I took the pill and started crying uncontrollably.”
I didn’t even know how far along I was – that question still haunts me. In fact, the online questionnaire results dated the pregnancy at four weeks, but I didn’t think that was right from the timing. And after comparing what I saw to fetal development pictures, I was probably at 12 weeks.
GRIEF, GUILT, AND QUESTIONS THAT WON’T LET GO
I wrote in my journal about how I had saved an avocado seed because it was starting to sprout. And how could I care more about saving that seed than my own? I thought about how my mom had an abortion scheduled when she was pregnant with me, but she didn’t go through with it. I wrote: “Why am I so weak? Where is my motherly instinct for something other than a stupid avocado seed?”
I didn’t know what to do with the fetus. I couldn’t just bury it. I was worried my dog would dig it up. I wrapped it in a paper towel. And it sat on a shelf in my closet. It was a daily reminder. I wrote in my journal, “Maybe I’m keeping it to punish myself. The one thing I do know is that I’m hurting inside. And I don’t know how to heal.”
FINDING SUPPORT AFTER ABORTION
Keys to Hope and Healing saved me. I hadn’t spoken to a single person through the whole mail order and abortion process—every communication was an automated text. Even when I reached out for help when my emotions were so out of control, I got a generic text message, followed by a text with some resource links. That’s when I searched online and found Support After Abortion.
FINDING CONNECTION AND EMOTIONAL SAFETY IN GROUP SUPPORT
The woman talked with me. She told me what I was going through was common. And I was able to start in a virtual group a few weeks later. I really needed that face-to-face support. It helped a lot to hear other people’s stories, to know I wasn’t alone.
One day, toward the end, I read to the group from my journal. I saw them looking at me with compassion and understanding. It was a safe space to talk, cry, and share. It helped me understand my emotions. They helped me believe that I could move on. It’s so cliche, but it was like all that weight I was carrying—just came off. And I could breathe.
MEMORIALIZING MY BABY: A SYMBOL OF STRENGTH
The group even helped me brainstorm how I could honor my baby and where I could bury it. We read a story in Keys to Hope and Healing about an elephant who feels chained even when the chain isn’t there anymore. I found a cute little elephant curled up sleeping. I buried my baby and placed the little elephant on top. When I see that elephant, I remember I’m stronger than I think. I can move forward.
ACCEPTING MY EMOTIONS AND FINDING PEACE
Keys to Hope and Healing helped me accept my emotions and that it’s okay to be vulnerable and upset. Even now, years after my group, I know it’s okay when something triggers a memory or I get sad. I can move on. I’m just so much healthier.
A MOMENT OF COMPASSION LEADS TO GIVING BACK
A few years after my group, I was watching a YouTube podcast I listen to regularly. But when I heard him say, “If you’ve had an abortion…,” I was like, I don’t want to hear this. I don’t need you to judge me. But then he said, “Some people may say that you’re evil, that you don’t deserve support. But you’re not, and you have my support and my love. And he said, “The best thing you can do now is pay it forward.”
It was so compassionate. So freeing. I just broke down in tears. It felt like he was talking right to me, and I thought, I need to do something with Support After Abortion. And that’s when I started volunteering. To get that connection, to feel normal, and to heal is so important. That’s why I volunteer.
HEALING TOGETHER: ABORTION SUPPORT FOR BOTH OF US
Ever since I did Keys to Hope and Healing, I’ve encouraged my husband to do the men’s version. He started it recently. It’s helping him. And it’s opening up new layers of discussion and healing for us. It really is true what Support After Abortion says about how healing is a journey, not a one-and-done. And, I’m thankful for their resources and help along the way.
THE HIDDEN PAIN: WHAT DIDN’T MAKE THE VIDEO
In our interview, Anna shared much more than we could fit into the six-minute video. Some of it was painful. Some of it hopeful. All of it real.
Here are a few powerful moments that didn’t make the final cut—but still speak volumes:
Guilt with Other People’s Pregnancies and Miscarriages
“It’s hard to hear someone say they lost their baby—because I didn’t want mine. That’s not fair. I had this gift… and I said no thank you.”
“She was texting me weekly with her ultrasound updates. It was hard—so hard.“
Anna struggled with deep guilt. It took time and compassionate conversations in her healing group to unpack those emotions and find understanding and freedom.
Standing in Grief with Others
Anna shared that going through Keys to Hope and Healing, receiving compassion and understanding, and finding peace enabled her to be there and hold space for others experiencing grief.
“A family member miscarried and had to do an at home D&C—using the pills just like I did. I tried to be there for them, without saying what I’d been through. Like physically some things to watch for. And emotionally…being able to talk with them about lost memories and dreams you had.”
“After my coworker’s son died, I didn’t try to console him or hug him. I just stood there with him for an hour and let him cry. I knew what it felt like to cry and not be coddled—to just be understood. And I listened. He told me everything that was bothering him. And I just said, ‘People say it’ll be okay, don’t cry. But, it’s not okay, and you’re allowed to cry. I know it hurts.’”
A Weird Relationship with Your Period After Abortion
Like many women after reproductive loss, Anna shared that periods became a very “emotional thing.” She said “it’s so gross,” but that maybe speaking about it could help other women who maybe don’t expect it to impact them in this way.
“It’s weird. You’re gonna wish it just comes and is normal again. You’re just gonna dream for that day. And then it’s gonna come, and you’re just gonna be a mess, and you’re gonna hate it. And it’s normal to feel that way.
She said that other women in her group went through the same thing, and said, “You’re like, this is what they don’t tell you.”
Being Met Where She Was: Finding Secular Support
When Anna started searching for support, it was important to her that it was secular—not religious.
“Support After Abortion and Keys to Hope and Healing gave me that. I was able to find a secular situation.”
While some people in the group did discuss their faith, they respected Anna’s beliefs and gave her a safe space to process in the way she needed.
“It was just so comforting to have people listen to me without having an agenda or trying to guide me to something other than abortion healing.”
I’m Not the Only One Who Saved My Baby
“It helped to know that I wasn’t alone—that other people also saved their babies. Yes, I felt like I was weird. I mean, it is weird, but knowing I’m not the only one—I just think that was one of the big takeaways for me in my group.”
Mother’s Day After Abortion
Anna’s first Mother’s Day after the abortion was painful. And shortly after, her dog died.
“It was a lot. But I was still in my Keys to Hope and Healing group, and I could reach out to someone. That really helped.”
That moment reminded her that healing after abortion isn’t just about the group sessions—it’s about knowing someone’s there for you when life hits hard.
“And it’s good to have human connection and other people to tell you that the sadness and pain you’re going through is normal and not this easy, great thing.”
When Her Husband Changed His Mind
One year to the day after her abortion, Anna’s husband told her he wanted kids.
“He didn’t even realize it was the anniversary, but I did. I wanted to run away.”
The Power of a Compassionate Response
Because of her schedule and time zone, Anna attended her group sessions from her car. One morning, a coworker saw her, and Anna said she was taking a class. But another week, she saw Anna crying hard, invited her to lunch, and said, “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but are you okay?” And that opened the door for Anna to share.
“She didn’t judge me. She didn’t get mad. She was very understanding and concerned about me, which is not what I expected. That meant so much.”
It was the first time she told someone outside the group about the abortion—and the compassion she received gave her courage to open up a little more.
MEMORIALIZATION: A POWERFUL STEP IN HEALING AFTER ABORTION
One powerful and often overlooked part of healing is something called memorialization: doing something intentional to honor your baby and acknowledge what happened.
For Anna, that moment came near the end of her Keys to Hope and Healing group:
“We read the story about the elephant with the string around its ankle. I found this little elephant curled up sleeping. I buried my baby and placed the elephant on top. It’s a better reminder than punishment. It’s more of an I can get past this, and I’m stronger than I think. I’m stronger. And this is a string holding me back. I can take a step forward.
It’s not uncommon for abortion grief to resurface even after going through a healing program. Your personal memorial can bring comfort on hard days, too. As Anna shared, she would look out at the elephant and remind herself that she’s stronger:
“Anytime hard things would happen or stuff would come up. That’s what I would think about.”
Memorialization can look different for everyone. For some, it’s planting a tree or writing a letter. For others, it’s choosing a piece of jewelry, creating a piece of art, getting a tattoo, or holding a private ceremony. Even something simple—like selecting a keepsake, naming your child, or lighting a candle—can offer comfort and meaning.
People use memorialization as they work through all sorts of losses, not just after abortion. And sometimes, they’re dealing with multiple losses.
When Guilt, Loss, And Trauma Collide
For Anna, the abortion wasn’t her only trauma that year.
“In five months, I had cancer, an abortion, and my dog died. I call it my three-trauma year.”
As part of her healing, she used memorialization to mark all three—earrings with three small prongs to symbolize what she’d endured, and that she was healing.
“These earrings help me remember… and move forward.”
If you’re wondering whether memorializing your child could help, you’re not alone. Many have found it to be a deeply meaningful step. Read more in our article Healing Through Memorialization: A Powerful Step After Abortion
LISTENING WITH COMPASSION, RESPONDING WITH CARE
From Our Side of the Story
At Support After Abortion, storytelling is an honor—and a responsibility. Behind every story is a real person who has lived through pain, and our role is to make sure their voice, their experience, is handled with care, empathy, and respect.
When we interview someone sharing their story—whether for these videos, blog articles, webinars, books, or other resources—we prioritize compassion, collaboration, and ethical, trauma-informed storytelling best practices.
The initial interviews can last an hour or more. “I don’t rush, I don’t assume,” says Michele Mazelin, Support After Abortion Communications Manager. “I listen, I invite, and I give them a safe space to be heard and to tell their story in whatever way is meaningful for them.”
Our process prioritizes agency and collaboration. “We don’t start with a goal or an idea of what their story should be,” Michele said. We invite them to share whatever feels important to them in their lived experience and healing journey. Then we write their story based on what they actually say. Their words shape the content, the tone, the direction. Their experience leads the way.
Sometimes they pause. Sometimes they circle back. Sometimes they chose not to share certain things. Or sometimes they share a part of their story, but ask not to include it. And we honor it all. That’s what it means to respect someone’s story: you don’t push, you protect.
That protection of their story—and their privacy—is why we don’t use the person’s real name or the real names of anyone in their story. It’s why we omit any details that might identify them. And it’s why we use an actor to portray the individual’s story.
During the Power of Storytelling webinar, Michele emphasized that “It’s not our story to use—it’s their story to offer.” So, we engage them in the process, including reviewing the script drafts, how they’d like to word something, or if they want to include or omit something. “In ethical storytelling—especially in abortion healing,” Michele said, “It’s not just about how a story moves others—It’s also about how we handle what someone trusts us with.”
These conversations aren’t easy. But they’re real. And they matter.
TIPS FOR YOU: HOW TO CARE FOR YOURSELF AFTER HEARING A HARD STORY
Anna’s story is honest, emotional, and—at times—deeply heavy.
Response to Anna’s Story
When we shared Anna’s video during a webinar for abortion healing providers, these were just a few of the responses:
“I can’t imagine the isolation she must have felt from the automated responses.”
“She was 12 weeks—that was heart wrenching. My baby was 13 weeks, and I didn’t know how developed he was.”
“My heart hurt to hear she kept the fetus—It stayed with me because of the weight of that emotionally.
“The avocado line hit me. I cried. It was her mothering instinct in a moment of pain.”
“I can’t imagine seeing your baby on a shelf every day. The isolation must’ve been unbearable.”
“The daily visual of her baby on the shelf seems like it would be SO hard.
These weren’t people hearing an abortion story for the first time. These were experienced abortion healing providers, leaders, and group facilitators. And still—Anna’s words stirred something deep.
“If any of you are struggling with what you heard today,” our Executive Director said at the close of that webinar, “I encourage you to call us on our After Abortion Line. Sometimes those icky, sticky feelings that pop up when we hear someone’s story are an opportunity to dig deeper into our own healing. Even as providers, executive directors, leaders—we deserve help, too. Please reach out.”
Whether you’ve experienced abortion, know someone who has, or support women and men to find hope and healing after abortion—you matter too. And your emotions deserve care.
Caring For Yourself After a Tough Story
Michele shared that after one of her first interviews—one that was especially raw and emotional—she reached out to a colleague who’s been walking with clients for years. “I needed to process what I’d heard and how it had affected me, my thoughts and feelings,“ Michele said. “Talking with her helped me honor his experience and validate my emotions. It helped me regain my footing and feel more grounded heading into the next conversation.”
Her colleague also reminded her that caring well for others includes caring for ourselves, too.
“After each interview,” Michele said, “I check in with myself. I process with someone if needed (while honoring confidentiality), I take breaks, go for a walk, watch a show, play a game with my kids. I remind myself that this is not my pain to carry—but I can hold it with care while it’s in front of me.”
Here are a few ideas that can help you check in and reset after hearing a tough story:
- Pause. Take a breath or step outside. Let yourself feel what comes.
- Notice what you’re carrying. Are these emotions tapping into something deeper for you?
- Journal or reflect. Get it out of your head and onto paper.
- Talk with someone. It’s okay to say, “That story hit me harder than I expected.”
- Ground yourself. Go for a walk, watch something light, make dinner—whatever helps you come back to yourself.
- Set boundaries. Build in buffer time after hard stories. Protect your emotional health.
For more practical guidance, read our article on Tips for Compassionate Conversations and our webinar recap on Healthy Helping.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s part of being human. And it helps you keep showing up with compassion and clarity.
FROM GUILT TO GROWTH: ANNA’S NEXT CHAPTER
Anna says she’s in a much better place than she was a few years ago.
“Going through Keys to Hope and Healing changed a lot of aspects of my life… I see my emotions differently. I used to try to stop crying with a joke—now I know it’s okay to feel it.”
She’s grown in how she supports others, how she sees herself, and how she honors what she’s been through.
“Even now, when something triggers a memory or I get sad, I don’t beat myself up. I remind myself: It’s okay to be upset—and I can still move forward.”
And she hopes her story helps someone else take a step toward healing after abortion, too.
HELP AFTER ABORTION: IF ANNA’S STORY RESONATES WITH YOU…
It’s okay if Anna’s abortion and healing story stirred something up for you. That may be the very place your healing begins.
Whether this touched something recent or something long buried for you, it matters.
Here are some ways to take the next step toward healing:
📞 Talk to someone who understands.
Reach out to our anonymous After Abortion Line.
- Call or text: 844.289.HOPE (4673)
- Chat: supportafterabortion.com
- Email us
📘 Start your healing journey.
Download Keys to Hope and Healing
👩💻 Find support for women.
Explore our Women’s Healing Resources
🎥 Watch Anna’s Story.
If Anna’s story made you think of someone, consider sharing it with them—you never know what it could mean for them.
If you’re carrying grief, guilt, or heavy emotions after abortion, you’re not alone—we’re here for you. Anna’s story shows that even when the pain is immediate and raw, healing is possible.
You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Compassionate, nonjudgmental help is available—and taking one small step can open the door to peace, connection, and strength you didn’t know you had.
Reading something that hits home can bring up a lot.
If you’d like to share what Anna’s Story stirred up for you—or just let us know what you thought—