Why were the first words out of my mouth – we can’t do this?

My wife and I decided we wanted no more children. We already had 2 and both of us struggle with some medical conditions. The days are long and hard to get through. So I had a vasectomy. When my wife told me she was pregnant – the first words I said were “we can’t do this.” Why didn’t I go back for my follow-up appointment to make sure the surgery was successful? After giving it some thought, I knew we could do it, we love our children. Even though for 2 weeks I tried to convince my wife that we can make this work, all she could hear were my first 4 words. I couldn’t convince her that I had been wrong. We had an abortion and just 2 days later I was a broken man. I couldn’t believe what we did, what I did. I found Support After Abortion and called. What I found was a caring, compassionate, honest person willing to help me sort out my feelings. I was given a referral to a man that could take me through my grief process, and they had a woman that had a very similar experience waiting to talk with my wife. We got connected and got help. But every now and then I touch base with that person that answered the phone the day I called. We are forever grateful.