Recap of April 19 Abortion Healing Provider Webinar


Greg Mayo, Men’s Healing Strategist and Chair of the National Men’s Task Force for Support After Abortion led a discussion on men and abortion healing with guests Scott Baier and Tim Jones. Scott is the CEO of Community Pregnancy Centers, the largest pregnancy resource center system in Florida. Tim shared his personal story of abortion and healing.

Setting the Context

Greg shared some key findings from the Support After Abortion’s research study on the impact of abortion on men:

45% said they did not have a voice or choice in the abortion decision

57% said it wasn’t their decision (it was their partner’s or someone else’s)

71%  reported experiencing adverse changes after abortion

83% tried to find help or said they could have benefited from help

18%  knew where to go for help

40% prefer a religious approach to abortion healing

53% rarely or never attend church

43% identified as atheist, agnostic, or no religion

He encouraged people to check the website for the white paper on the research which will be released April 24.

Boots on the Ground: Pregnancy Centers Caring for Men

Scott explained that the male role is often misunderstood. He said the stereotypical narrative of men wanting or forcing an abortion or willingly not participating in the decision is not what he has seen. He said, “Women often want to hear the man say, ‘I’m here for you – to walk through this with you.’” He said, “So I hope [pregnancy centers] invite the male partner into the counseling room. They need to be told they have a voice.”

Scott also highlighted the need to help clients communicate with each other. He shared a story of a married couple, both 19 years old, who came to one of the clinics recently. They had already chosen abortion for a previous pregnancy. This time, after talking to each other, they left in tears. She said, ‘I thought you wanted me to get the abortion last time.’ He said, ‘I thought you wanted me to tell you you should get the abortion.’” He noted that it’s important to be mindful that the majority of people seeking abortions are 18-24 years old – they are young, without a lot of life experience, and not polished in communication skills.

Scott addressed the value of men who have experienced abortion and received healing to help other men. He also encouraged pregnancy centers to have male staff and volunteers to take part in Support After Abortion training.

He discussed the need for churches to overcome obstacles and discuss abortion healing. He said, “Only 3% of Christian churches in America are active in the pro-life space.” He said many men including pastors often don’t feel comfortable promoting or talking about pro-life because they have their own abortion experiences and don’t feel ready, equipped, or even that they’re the right person to talk about it. And, “they don’t know where to turn for training and guidance.”

That’s why the Support After Abortion research showing 82% of men and women don’t know where to go for help “jumped out at me,” Scott said. “One of our goals is to connect them to the resources available and … address their needs.”

Scott responded to a question about the impact on a man if he has a man to talk to at the clinic. “Ideally it’s a male-to-male situation,” Scott said, “but there is value in females talking to males. A lot of clinics don’t have male staff or volunteers.” He explained that some men feel like they can never be forgiven – that their partner won’t forgive them. “Having this other female saying to a male that he can be forgiven is impactful.”

Scott emphasized the need to provide resources – not just offer forgiveness. He said, “You can repent from sins of your faith, but you can’t really repent from your wounds.  We have a culture of wounded people who are looking for help. We need more people to share resources for support and healing.” 

Greg pointed out that the Support After Abortion research found that only 40% of men want a religious approach to abortion healing.

He asked Scott, “Can pregnancy centers meet men where they are and serve those who don’t want a religious approach?

Scott said, “This is huge. We must meet them where they are and create options-based programs to meet their needs. Males often want anonymity and virtual in the beginning. This doesn’t mean that later they won’t be ready for a three-day healing retreat.” He encouraged providers to focus on the person and “be the hands and hearts of Christ to them” without the need to speak about God or faith. He said, “clients need to know you’re there for them and care for them – that you’re not just ticking off a box or focusing on whether or not they’re saved. They want help and want to know you don’t have an agenda and are simply there to help.

Tim’s Story

Tim Jones shared that he had a good childhood, was raised with married parents, and a large extended family. He grew up Catholic, going to church regularly, and hearing that abortion was wrong. Yet in his teen years he “started dating, smoking, drinking – the whole deal. Then in my early 20s I got a girl pregnant.” He said,

“I immediately rejected it. It wasn’t time. I was in a good period of life. I didn’t love her (I didn’t love myself at the time, although I didn’t know that then). She was waiting to see what I said. I’m the one who swayed it, called it. I felt relief that day. I could go about my normal, selfish life. The next day it hit me so hard. I went to confession; Jesus forgave me, but I didn’t forgive myself.

My 20s were the darkest years of my life. Things progressively got worse including bad friendships, alcohol abuse, drugs, acting out, poor decisions with more girlfriends, just complete destruction. Thank God I had a good family that was there to carry me through and help me.

In my early 30s I was still like a teenager until I moved to Florida. I think that was the Holy Spirit getting me away from bad relationships and destructive behaviors. I got into AA and started the 12 Steps. I felt amazing, good, and started to live normally without the obsession for drinking. I started going to church.”

Tim shared that he saw a tear-away flyer for Project Rachel at church, remembered his abortion, and texted the number. He said, “We talked for a bit, but I didn’t think I needed healing like she was talking about. I had gone to confession and was in AA now.” The woman told him about Keys to Hope and Healing and encouraged him to go through that six-week program, which he did.

Tim said, “I found a lot of relief just talking about it and hearing other people’s stories. I thought I’m healing and I’m good. But then I was offered to do the Almost Daddy 12-Step program with Greg. Again, I didn’t think I needed to go that much further with it because there was still a lot of shame involved. It was uncomfortable initially every week, but as I did the 12 steps, I can’t tell you the healing I experienced. I had physical pains that left. All that tension of stuffing down this situation for so many years. The freedom I feel now – I feel my soul – and I want to help other people because of how much it’s impacted me. I believe there are so many people drinking, doing drugs, hurting people because of their abortions. And it breaks my heart because I was there. I know I know what it’s like. 

Base Camp – abortion healing for men

Tuesdays 12p, starting May 2 

Scott and Greg echoed Tim’s experience that often men find healing, then want to help others find healing. They both shared that they get something new in their own healing journeys each time they lead others.

Greg shared a new way for men to connect to healing. Base Camp is an open forum, weekly virtual discussion group for men who’ve been impacted by abortion. Greg, who will be the host, said, “Men can pull up a chair and have a chat in a way that is not judgmental. The idea is to let guys share what they need to share. There are no forms to fill out, no registration.”

“It’s wide open,” Greg said in response to an attendee asking if Base Camp is Christian-based. He said men are free to share what they want – some may share something they learned from their faith or church, others may share some insight they gained while walking in the woods. It’ll be up to the men who attend what they want to discuss and in what way they want to talk about it.


“I hear all the time that we need resources and help for men. And, I hear that men heal differently from women – that they’re less likely to want to be in groups or share openly about their emotions or experiences. How do you overcome that?” – Asked by Mary McClusky, from USCCB Project Rachel Ministry

Greg, Tim, and Scott all agreed that men walking with men, and men sharing their stories, is key. 

Greg said that “Me too, bro” was what got him involved in abortion healing. “I stumbled into abortion recovery,” he said, “and only because I shared my abortion story in a men’s group that had nothing to do with abortion and other guys came forward. I realized I wasn’t the only one, met with my pastor the next day, and it got started from there.”

Tim shared, “I agree the vulnerability thing is huge – and was very hard for me.” He described forcing himself to talk about emotional stuff to men in the barber shop where he works. He said “Just talking in conversation – I made major mistakes in life and I can pinpoint where it was. But I tell them with hope – I’m healing, I changed my life. Then they want to hear how and why.”

Scott emphasized that conversation comes first. He also said that both men and women should hear, “I’m sorry for your loss.” He noted that hearing that goes a long way. He also said he believes male-to-male interaction is important in small groups and strongly encouraged separate small groups for men and women. 

Tom Walker, from Love Life South Florida: Guys just want a conversation, not bells and whistles, or this program, or that church. As far as inviting guys in when they’re hesitant to join groups, if you approach them as we need your input in the group as opposed to you need help, you’ll get a lot further.

How much did it weigh you down? Did it interfere with your life drastically? 

Greg shared that his abortion experiences “impacted everything in my life in ways that I wasn’t even conscious of until I found healing. Choices I made, things I did, avoidance behaviors. It impacted the way I parented when my wife and I started having kids. Nothing went untouched.” Tim agreed with that experience, “absolutely.”

How did you realize where the pain came from? How did you move on?

Greg: Well, the thing is, I never moved on. I just moved. I’m in Indiana, so forgive the basketball metaphor, but I played life on defense, and you never win a basketball game playing on defense. When I was in that men’s group, this voice in my head said, ‘Hey, share your story about the abortion. And my first thought was, we’re not doing that. I’m in a church group at my church with guys I go to church with. There’s no way I’m sharing this story. And the voice kept bugging me. And so finally I did. And it wasn’t until I shared that and started looking into healing that I started making the connection that this really did impact my life. I thought I had just been living my life and problems and life happened, and I didn’t know for a long time that it was related.

Tim: For me it was a moment in a Publix parking lot when it just hit me – everything bad that I’m shameful about happened within two months of my abortion and just spiderwebbed. And I just kept stuffing and stuffing to the point where it had to come out. Getting help with alcohol was the start of healing, but I didn’t know the root was the abortion. I had no idea. I had to get rid of the obsession and cloudiness of drinking to go deeper. To go look and dig deeper to get to the root of the problem, I had to remove the drinking first.

Chris Rainey – Member of the Support After Abortion National Men’s Task Force – I have alcohol abuse history, and that history, coupled with recovering from abortion are just intertwined. By the time guys come to me [for abortion healing], they’ve reached their tipping point. They’re ready to do something different to get different results. It’s like when a guy walks into his first AA meeting, sees all the people, and thinks, “You, too? I thought it was just me.” I use that in after-abortion counseling – it creates a credibility foundation to move forward. Alcohol and abortion recovery – there are incredible parallels.

Greg – Abortion often triggers other behaviors – drugs, alcohol, sexual behaviors. By the time a man comes for healing, it’s like he has to clean off the layers of whatever he’s been doing to cover the pain before you can get to the pain of the abortion.

Chris – I estimate that there are 51 million men with abortion experiences in the US. The question is how do we reach them? Every time we speak, men come up afterwards and pretty much unload. The message then is Be Bold – don’t be afraid to talk about it. We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. When it’s brought up, men respond. The guys who come up are sick and tired of being sick and tired. They are ripe for healing. Be bold and keep talking about it.

Key Take-aways

  • Men are hurting from abortion experiences.
  • Men respond best to conversation and hearing other men share their stories of abortion and healing.
  • Need to be bold and speak about men, help them share their stories, and find hope, healing, and freedom.

Next Steps

  • Watch the video of this webinar
  • Read the white paper on the Long Term Negative Impact of Abortion on Men (Release date April 24)
  • Watch Ron Ransom, who had planned to share his abortion healing story, but had technical issues, on Maria Vision on Mon, April 24 at 8p EST. Click here to watch live.
  • Base Camp rolls out for men – Tuesdays, 12pm starting May 2

Register for the May Abortion Healing Provider Meeting