Lisa Rowe, CEO for Support After Abortion and Deborah Tilden, co-creator of Life Victory, discuss communication surrounding abortion, how the lies hurt men and women impacted by abortion and resources that are available to heal from the pain after an abortion.

Deborah’s abortion happened forty years and she still can remember exactly what she was told to expect after her abortion. She recalls being told, “you will go back to normal.” Vulnerable and facing an unplanned pregnancy Deborah believed that she would go “back to normal” and had no idea the enormous impact her abortion would have on her life.

Shortly after, Deborah suffered from depression, guilt and shame after her abortion. Consumer research conducted by Support After Abortion in the US shows that the common emotions experienced after an abortion include, but are not limited too, depression, anger, a feeling of loss, regret, guilt, shame, grief and sadness. In addition to these common emotions, the result of carrying toxic abortion secrets often causes men and women to make dysfunctional and damaging choices. Deborah made a series of very unhealthy decisions to cope with her emotional pain, leading her to develop substance abuse habits, obsessive eating habits, and compulsive exercise habits. Her life did not return to normal and she spent years committing herself to changing her damaging behaviors and healing from abortion.

Abortion can be a toxic secret that men and women carry in silence. Deborah was told that she should not talk about her abortion experience. Deborah and Lisa both agree that healing often begins when we start to share our abortion experiences. Deborah shared her abortion story on the steps of the Capitol in Sacramento, CA. By sharing her story she released the pain and shame and found freedom in releasing her secret. She went through multiple healing groups, started to journal, and became a certified Life Coach so that she can help other men and women impacted by abortion receive the healing they need.

It is not required to share on this level, but there is an immense amount of healing that comes from sharing an abortion experience with a therapist, within a support group, or with family and friends. Healing groups can be in person, or done virtually. Through Support After Abortion we offer many virtual groups that are faith and non-faith based such as the faith based group Where Do Broken Hearts Go and the non-faith based group Unraveled Roots. Each help to heal not only the pain after abortion, but also wounds that can be deeply rooted and driving damaging behavior. When a man or woman starts to discuss the trauma associated with abortion and the wounds that led to an abortion decision, slowly but surely, each layer of pain, and shame is peeled back and healed.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. For a complete list of the virtual healing groups offered by Support After Abortion, please visit If you’re ready to start your healing journey, or need immediate assistance we are here to help you confidentiality and anonymously. Call or text Support After Abortion at 1-844-289-HOPE.