Discover the COR method—Can’t Stop, Overreact, Recurring Pain—a compassionate tool for emotional and spiritual healing after abortion, rooted in hope.
HOPE AS AN ANCHOR AFTER ABORTION
Fr. Shawn Monahan, OMV, often says: “Discouragement is the greatest obstacle on the way to salvation. What we need to cure discouragement is hope.”
Hope is not wishful thinking. Scripture calls it “an anchor” (Hebrews 6:19). An anchor that steadies us when waves of grief, shame, or regret crash against our hearts.
For those carrying the impact of abortion—women, men, family members, and friends—hope can feel fragile. But healing is possible. One simple tool, COR, offers a way to notice what’s happening inside and open the door to healing.
WHAT IS COR? A HEART-CHECK TOOL FOR HEALING AFTER ABORTION
The Latin word cor means “heart.” Fr. Shawn has turned it into a practical acronym that works like a heart check:
- C: Can’t stop – patterns or compulsions that feel out of control
- O: Overreact – outsized emotions that don’t match the situation
- R: Recurring pain – ongoing cycles of shame, anxiety, or grief
COR doesn’t diagnose or define you. It’s a simple mirror. If one of these shows up, it’s a sign your heart may be carrying wounds that need care.
“Healing is a normal, vital part of the Christian life,” Fr. Shawn reminds us. At Support After Abortion, we extend that truth to everyone: healing is a normal, vital part of being human.
CAN’T STOP: BREAKING CYCLES AFTER ABORTION
Compulsions often mask deeper pain. After abortion, that can look like overworking, endless scrolling, overspending, substance use, or unhealthy relationships.
Jessica’s story:
“I never connected my shopping sprees to my abortion until I sat in a group and heard another woman share. I max out my cards every year on the anniversary date. COR helped me name it: this was my Can’t stop. Once I recognized it, I could replace it with something healthier—calling a friend, journaling, even walking. Naming it took away some of its power.”
Practical tip: Pause and ask: “What am I really reaching for—comfort, control, escape?” Once you know the “why,” you can choose a healthier “what.”
OVERREACT: UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS AFTER ABORTION
Sometimes grief surfaces in outsized ways. A small slight triggers rage. A simple silence becomes rejection. A minor conflict leaves you shattered.
Marcus’ story:
“As a man, I didn’t think abortion touched me. But every time my wife asked a simple question, I blew up. A counselor showed me COR. That was my Overreact. It wasn’t about her—it was about my guilt from not speaking up years ago. Once I named it, I could pause, breathe, and talk instead of explode.”
Practical tip: When your emotions don’t match the moment, notice the mismatch. Breathe deeply (4 in, 6 out). Say to yourself: “This is O—Overreact.” That pause breaks the spiral.
RECURRING PAIN: NAMING THE LINGERING GRIEF OF ABORTION
Recurring pain is the ache that circles back: anniversaries, baby showers, certain songs, or even quiet moments.
Lila’s story:
“Every anniversary of the abortion of the child I never met, I shut down. COR helped me name it: this was Recurring pain. That didn’t mean something was wrong with me—it meant I had a tender place that needed care. That’s when I reached out to Support After Abortion and found a group that understood. Naming it gave me freedom to finally share my story.”
Daniel’s story:
“My recurring pain showed up as nightmares. I tried to push through with work and friends, but the nightmares kept coming. COR gave me the courage to admit I needed professional help. That was the bravest step I’ve ever taken—and it opened the door to peace I didn’t think I could feel again.”
Practical tip: When recurring pain arises, write one sentence: “I feel ___ when ___.” Then ask: “Who can I safely share this with—friend, counselor, group, or faith leader?” Pain loses power when it’s spoken aloud.
WHY COR MATTERS IN ABORTION RECOVERY
Fr. Shawn reminds us that healing isn’t about erasing wounds but letting love transform them:
“Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted, to set captives free. Healing is a normal part of life with Him. And even if you’re not religious, healing is still a normal part of being human. There’s no shame in it.”
COR works because it helps us notice. Instead of running on autopilot, we pause, name what’s happening, and make space for care.
- For people of faith: COR can be a doorway to prayer—“Jesus, meet me in my Can’t stop, Overreact, Recurring pain.”
- For those who are secular: COR is a grounding practice of awareness—“I see what’s happening. I can choose one healthier step.”
Either way, it’s about reclaiming hope.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
- “I realized my Can’t stop was perfectionism. I worked myself into the ground trying to prove I was okay. COR helped me finally rest.” – “Evan”
- “Every pregnancy announcement triggered bitterness. COR gave me a pause button. Now I notice the feeling and pray instead of lashing out.” – “Maria”
- “My recurring pain was constant anxiety. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t focus, and I thought it was just who I was now. COR gave me a way to pause, breathe, and name what was happening instead of drowning in it.” – “Aisha”
PILGRIMS OF HOPE
In his homily, Fr. Shawn connected COR to the idea that “We are pilgrims of hope, journeying together toward heaven. Hope is our anchor—it keeps us from being swept away by discouragement.”
That image is powerful whether you’re religious or not. All of us are travelers on a path. All of us long for meaning, for freedom, for home. COR helps us see the obstacles, name the wounds, and keep moving forward—anchored in hope.
TRY COR TODAY: A ONE-MINUTE PRACTICE
Now that you’ve seen how COR shows up in real life, the next step is to try it in the moment with a simple practice you can do anywhere. The next time you notice a habit you can’t shake, an overreaction that surprises you, or a recurring pain that keeps circling back, try COR as a way to pause and check in with your heart.
- Pause. Hand on your chest.
- Name it. Is it C, O, or R?
- Breathe. In for 4, out for 6.
- Choose one step. Call a friend, write one sentence, pray, or take a walk.
Small steps build momentum. Healing happens layer by layer.
YOUR HEALING MATTERS
If COR resonates with you, it’s proof your heart matters. And healing after abortion is possible.
At Support After Abortion, we’re here to walk with you—confidentially, compassionately, at your pace.
👉Explore free resources in our Abortion Healing Center at supportafterabortion.com
👉Send us a message to start an anonymous conversation
Your story isn’t over. Healing is possible. And you deserve it.
© Support After Abortion
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