EQUIP MEN TO HEAL: USING THE NEW FINDING SOLID GROUND SELF-GUIDED VIDEO SERIES

OVERVIEW

Men impacted by abortion often carry their grief, anger, and pain in silence—yet research shows most want support, value anonymity, and benefit from resources and support designed with their unique needs in mind. Finding Solid Ground: A Man’s Guide to Healing After Abortion was created to meet that need, and the new self-guided video series takes it further.

Walking men step by step through the book, and blending authentic stories, additional insights, music, and practical tools, the Finding Solid Ground video series offers men a path for healing after abortion centered on God’s love and mercy. It equips men to heal at their own pace—privately, securely, and with a narrator’s guidance that feels like sitting down with a trusted friend.

This webinar showed providers how the Finding Solid Ground video series can be used in self-guided, one-on-one, and group settings, and highlighted multimodal learning, research-backed best practices for engaging men, and compassionate approaches to supporting their healing.

INTRODUCTION

Michele Mazelin, Communications Manager, introduced the new Finding Solid Ground self-guided video series by first recalling its foundation: the book Finding Solid Ground: A Man’s Guide to Healing After Abortion. She invited attendees to watch the replay or read the recap from the Introducing Finding Solid Ground webinar that explored the book in depth. She also shared the Support After Abortion research that shaped its creation.

That research revealed striking needs among men affected by abortion:

8 out of 10 men want support.
7 out of 10 men report negative changes after abortion such as depression, anxiety, anger, grief, or substance misuse.
40% of men preferred a faith-based approach to healing after abortion.
8 out of 10 men valued anonymity when seeking help.

“Our research shows a clear need to support men in healing after abortion… and Finding Solid Ground meets those needs,” Michele explained.

Nyles Pinckney, Men’s Healing Coordinator, then introduced the new Finding Solid Ground self-guided video series, now available at FindingSolidGround.com. He outlined the topics the training would cover:

Why self-guided healing matters
The benefits of multimodal learning
Meeting men where they are
Details and clips from the Finding Solid Ground video series
Ways providers can use the Finding Solid Ground video series with clients.

Michele walked through the FindingSolidGround.com site design, explaining how visitors can access chapter videos, music videos, and resources directly from the landing page.

Nyles emphasized that anonymity was central to the resource: men can watch videos, download the digital book and journal at no cost and without needing to login or identify themselves in any way. They can opt to order the paperback or Kindle versions through Amazon. “Everything a man needs is all in this one space,” he said.

He also compared the new series to Keys to Hope and Healing and Unraveled Roots. While all three offer one video per chapter and feature actors sharing stories, Finding Solid Ground is unique for its integration with the book, expanded reflections, graphics, playlists, a “relatable, conversational narrator,” and a focus on God’s love and mercy.

The video series follows the six chapters in the book: Your Role, What About Emotions?, Grieving Your Loss, Anger and Forgiveness, Drawing Closer to God, and What’s Next? Each chapter includes a Roadmap overview, a man’s story told in two parts, Food for Thought reflections, faith-based insights in Spiritual Power,” Challenge Time questions and activities, and a closing prayer.

HOW DOES THE VIDEO SERIES INTEGRATE WITH THE BOOK

To demonstrate how the videos work alongside the Finding Solid Ground book, Nyles introduced a preview clip. He noted that the clip shown in the webinar had some transitions cut for time but emphasized that the final videos are smooth and polished.

In the clip, the narrator explained how guilt, shame, and regret can leave men feeling stuck and invited viewers to pause and read the “Food for Thought” section of the book. After returning, the narrator guided reflection: “Maybe you pushed for it. Maybe you were against it. Maybe you and your partner discussed and decided together. Or maybe you didn’t even know about it until it was already done. Whatever your situation, there’s no judgment here.” The narrator emphasized that responsibility is not about shame but about freedom, and encouraged men to pause, reflect, write down their thoughts using guided questions from the book, such as: What was my role in the abortion? How did I react to the pregnancy? What happened after the abortion and how did I feel?

Reflecting on the clip, Nyles explained, “As you can see, the narrator sends you to read something in the book, gives you time to pause and do that, then discusses, reflects on it when you come back.” He added that after reading the book on his own, seeing the video series “was something that I really felt was needed, not just to do it yourself, but hearing someone else say it, seeing someone else tell you to do it, and be able to support you through that process.”

MULTIMODAL LEARNING & FINDING SOLID GROUND

Michele introduced the concept of multimodal learning, first proposed by Neil Fleming as the “VARK” model—Visual, Auditory, Reading/Writing, and Kinesthetic. She explained that Finding Solid Ground intentionally incorporates all four styles:

Visual through videos, graphics, and visual aids.
Auditory through the narrator, story portrayals, and music.
Reading/Writing through the book, reflection exercises, and journaling.
Kinesthetic through “Challenge Time” activities and prompts to engage physically.

Michele emphasized that combining these methods creates a seamless experience that improves retention, drives engagement, deepens understanding, and allows people to process the material in ways that resonate with them.

To illustrate, Nyles introduced a video clip showing practical tools from the series. In it, the narrator walked through three strategies:

The Signal Scan, a head-to-toe system check for recognizing physical cues.
The Feelings Wheel, which helps men move from general emotions like “mad” or “sad” to more specific feelings such as “frustrated,” “hostile,” or “rejected.”
The Triple Check, a reflection exercise asking, What did I feel? How did I react? What impact did that have?

“This is about building your own playbook, one tool at a time,” the narrator explained in the clip.

Nyles reminded attendees that while only snippets were shown during the webinar, the full videos offer uninterrupted flow and depth.

MUSIC & THE FINDING SOLID GROUND PLAYLIST

Michele explained that the Finding Solid Ground video series weaves 19 songs throughout its chapters, not simply as a playlist but as an integral part of the healing process. Quoting lyricist EY Harburg, she added, “Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. And a song makes you feel a thought.”

She said that the music integrated into Finding Solid Ground, “amplifies the content, deepens the experience and reflection, and creates space for listening, reflecting, and connecting.”

The playlist features a range of well-known Christian, Country, and Rock artists such as Zach Williams, Jelly Roll, Danny Gokey, Matthew West, Jason Crabb, Matt Maher, Micah Tyler, and the fast-rising Red Clay Strays, alongside emerging groups like Sons of Sunday, as well as lesser known artists too. Each song was selected to connect directly with the chapter content. Music videos for every chapter are linked just below the main video on FindingSolidGround.com, and the full playlist can be downloaded for listening anytime. Michele also noted that the updated edition of the Finding Solid Ground book now includes summaries of each song and its connection to the material.

She highlighted research showing that music boosts dopamine, which reduces stress, regulates emotions, and opens pathways for expression. She referenced another study on receptive listening and lyric discussion and guided reflection—which she said “Finding Solid Ground does fabulously”—that can reduce anxiety and depression and can help people dive deeper into their thoughts and emotions

She also noted that one therapist in Music Therapy in a Mental Health Setting observed, “Lyrics are an easier gateway for expression than the written word.”

To illustrate, Nyles introduced a clip where the narrator reflected on the song Tell Your Heart to Beat Again by Danny Gokey. The narrator explained how the lyrics capture the shattering weight of grief but also invite listeners to “give yourself permission to breathe again… and to receive the grace God wants to give you.” The reflection tied the song to the healing journey, emphasizing that moving forward is not about forgetting but about choosing to breathe again, to live again.

Nyles shared his personal reaction, saying that the playlist offered men both connection and flexibility. He valued how music and writing could work together in the series, offering both expression and reflection. He also stressed the importance of male artists bearing witness: “Songs included in Finding Solid Ground offer such a powerful witness to guys. Seeing and hearing other men opening up, singing about their struggles, their pain, and how they let God into it.”

Michele closed the section by adding her own appreciation, noting that she keeps the playlist on her phone and listens often. “The songs offer such hope and a beautiful way to tap into God’s love, mercy, and grace, and the strength that he offers us,” she said.

THE POWER OF WRITING & FINDING SOLID GROUND

Michele emphasized that writing is a core element of the Finding Solid Ground journey. Both the video series and the book prompt men to pause, reflect, and write about what surfaces for them. She shared a quote from men’s mental health advocate Ollie Aplin: “Writing down how you are feeling has immense mental and physical health benefits — and men need it most.”

Research highlighted in The Guardian and Glamour underscores those benefits, showing that writing can:

Reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress
Help process emotions and promote healing
Rewire the brain by moving experience from raw feeling to rational thought
Provide a safe, judgment-free outlet for expression

Michele highlighted a finding in The Guardian that for men in particular, writing can be a private way to process emotions without feeling exposed.

Nyles then shared his personal perspective, describing his own practice of writing down moments from his day or emotions he experiences, especially when feeling triggered or anxious. He often creates a simple chart: Can I control it? Can I not control it? If the answer is no, he lets it go; if yes, he makes a plan. “It sounds simple, but it helps me move forward,” he said.

Michele affirmed his approach and responded to an attendee’s question about what to write by noting that the program itself provides that structure. Both the narrator and the book guide participants through reflections, with built-in pauses for jotting down thoughts and insights.

THE POWER OF STORYTELLING & FINDING SOLID GROUND

The webinar then revisited a theme from our previous webinar, The Power of Storytelling, and connected it to Finding Solid Ground. She referenced a Very Well Mind article reviewed by Dr. Daniel Block, which explains that “Just by telling stories, listening to stories and sharing stories we are doing something good for our mental health.”

The Finding Solid Ground video series makes this real by bringing each chapter’s personal story to life on screen. Every story from the book is portrayed in two parts by an actor, creating a powerful and relatable experience for viewers. Each story tells a man’s abortion experience(s), the impact on his life (such as grief, depression, suicidal thoughts, substance misuse, and other difficult challenges), and his healing journey.

As we shared in Men’s Healing After Abortion: Cole’s Story from Isolation to Hope & Recovery:

“At Support After Abortion, we’ve seen how powerful men’s stories can be. Stories like [these] don’t just raise awareness—they open doors. For someone carrying the weight of abortion experiences, hearing someone say, “Here’s what I went through—and here’s how I started to heal,” can be the first step toward hope.”

Michele noted that when similar story clips were shared in the April webinar, some attendees wished they could watch the full narratives from start to finish. Since each story runs about 10 minutes, the entire versions couldn’t be included in the webinar. Instead, short excerpts were played, with the encouragement for participants to view the full series directly for the complete experience.

Three Story Clips from Finding Solid Ground

Nyles shared a clip from Finding Solid Ground with excerpts of three of the men’s stories.

Paul – Paul reflected on his role in his partner’s abortion, recognizing that his silence and self-focus left her unsupported. Working through an abortion healing program, he encountered God’s mercy, which lifted the weight of hidden pain, bringing him peace and freedom.

Troy – Troy shared the devastation of learning his partner chose not to tell him about her pregnancy or abortion, fearing his influence. Overwhelmed by grief and depression, he admitted to experiencing dark thoughts and feeling trapped in despair.

Jake – Jake described pressuring his partner into an abortion, seeing the fetus after the medication abortion, and being haunted by her words and his role in her battle with depression afterwards. He spiraled into addiction and destructive behavior until a near-fatal crash led him to AA. Eventually, through an online abortion healing program, he faced his buried guilt. Praying for the first time in years brought him release and renewal.

👉You might be interested in reading the Tips for Caring for Yourself After Hearing a Hard Story section in our blog, Men’s Healing After Abortion: Cole’s Story from Isolation to Hope & Recovery:

Nyles said the stories continue to hit him every time he hears them, describing the experience as if a close friend were opening up in raw honesty. He emphasized how hearing another man’s vulnerability inspires others to share their own.

Michele added that during filming, one actor remarked how speaking the story aloud—rather than just rehearsing—made the emotions deeply real. She underscored how video storytelling uniquely conveys the depth of men’s experiences and healing journeys.

BEST PRACTICES IN CARING FOR MEN: TAILORED COMMUNICATION

Michele referenced a synthesis of nearly 100 studies published in the American Journal of Men’s Health, which explored effective strategies for engaging men in primary healthcare encounters. She noted how well these findings apply to supporting men after abortion. The first area of best practice, she explained, centers on communication styles tailored to men.

Key recommendations from the research include:

Use informal, conversational language
Encourage men to tell their stories
Be direct and matter-of-fact
Rely on side-by-side communication with time for reflection
Use male-relevant and culturally appropriate language
Incorporate metaphors that resonate with men
Avoid clinical jargon

Michele emphasized that the Finding Solid Ground video series intentionally follows each of these best practices.

Nyles added that the casual, authentic tone of the videos reminded him of “sitting with a buddy” who was opening up about his life. “I felt like he was just telling me everything he had been dealing with,” he explained, noting how the informal style and use of metaphors made the content relatable and engaging.

Finding Solid Ground Video Clip: Masculine Communication Styles and Metaphors

The webinar featured a clip from the narrator illustrating these best practices in action:

“Healing’s like engine work. You pop the hood to fix one thing, and while you’re in there, you find something else. Tighten the belt, now it’s a pulley. Fix the radiator, now the hose is leaking. But here’s the deal. Every time you fix something, the engine runs smoother.”

The narrator also used another metaphor, comparing avoided emotions to a pressure cooker that eventually explodes. These images, paired with direct questions and reflections, modeled the conversational, side-by-side approach.

Nyles reflected that the Finding Solid Ground videos succeed because they lean into how men naturally communicate. The use of metaphors, casual tone, and imagery resonates with male audiences, creating an environment where reflection feels more natural and approachable.

BEST PRACTICES IN CARING FOR MEN: PURPOSEFUL STRUCTURE

Michele outlined the second best practice identified in the American Journal of Men’s Health review: purposeful structure in responding to men. She explained the findings that providers need to understand the influence of male socialization and men’s hesitancy to seek help, how men may present symptoms and interact differently. She noted that the study emphasized the importance of creating male-friendly spaces and providing care for in ways that include men in decision-making, use action-oriented solutions, and “allow for flexibility in timing and pacing to increase men’s comfort and engagement.”

She noted that Finding Solid Ground was intentionally built with these factors in mind. From its masculine language, color schemes, fonts, and graphics to its all-male cast, male vocalists and visuals in the music videos, every detail was designed to resonate with men. The self-guided format also gives men control over timing and pacing, further increasing their comfort and engagement.

BEST PRACTICES IN CARING FOR MEN: COMPASSIONATE CARE

Michele introduced the third best practice identified in the American Journal of Men’s Health review: compassionate care, or what researchers call therapeutic alliance. She explained that this includes posing constructive questions that support men’s autonomy, affirming men’s dignity in seeking help, dispelling their concerns, normalizing their experiences, promoting ownership of their health journeys, and listening with empathy and without judgment. De-stigmatizing behaviors and reducing shame are also key to encouraging self-disclosure.

Finding Solid Ground Video Clip: Compassionate, Affirming, Encouraging

A clip from the Finding Solid Ground video series illustrated how these principles are applied in practice. In it, the narrator welcomed men into Chapter Three, “Grieving Your Loss,” with affirming and encouraging words. He reminded them that showing up was “a big deal” and emphasized that healing could be paced at their own comfort level—whether that meant pausing to exercise, pray, or take a walk before continuing. His tone was compassionate yet motivating: “It’s okay to pause, just don’t stop. Come back and keep going. You got this.”

Nyles reflected that the narrator’s style felt like a mentor or trusted friend, guiding men through difficult emotions while encouraging them to keep moving forward. He noted that this kind of support is especially valuable for men who are new to healing or hesitant to begin.

A DEEPER LOOK AT THE NARRATOR’S ROLE

Nyles underscored the importance of the Finding Solid Ground narrator, describing him as a steady, buddy-to-buddy presence who makes the healing process feel approachable. His conversational style, use of metaphors, and calm tone build trust and help men feel seen. Rather than lecturing, he models resilience, offering advice like a mentor or trusted friend. This style keeps men engaged, reflecting, and moving deeper into their journey.

Finding Solid Ground Video Clip: Additional Insights

To illustrate, the team shared a clip where the narrator expanded on the book’s discussion of forgiveness. He introduced three approaches:

Indirect forgiveness: Letting go internally without involving the other person. The other party may never know forgiveness happened, but the man releases his own burden. For many, this brings the most peace, especially in situations where reaching out directly is not possible or healthy.
Direct forgiveness: Talking with the person involved. While this can sometimes help, the narrator cautioned that, “In many cases, after abortion, like the book says, reaching out directly can be a really bad idea. It can make things worse.”
Conditional forgiveness: Forgiving only if the other person apologizes or meets certain terms. The narrator explained this often leaves men “stuck,” since it puts control of their healing in someone else’s hands.

The narrator emphasized that forgiveness is not about excusing or erasing the past, but about freeing yourself to find peace. As he put it: “Forgiveness isn’t for someone else. It’s all about you and your peace.”

Nyles reflected that these added insights go beyond the book alone. The videos provide practical tools and encouragement that give men more to work with in their healing journeys—small but meaningful steps that can make the difference between staying stuck and moving forward.

SELF-GUIDED HEALING: WHAT AND WHY?

Michele explained that the Finding Solid Ground series was intentionally designed for use in multiple settings: self-guided, one-on-one, or in group contexts. She noted the attendees might have at least three questions:

Why self-guided?
Are the videos only for self-guided use?
How can they be incorporated with clients?

What Is Self-Guided Healing?

Clinical psychologist Amber Thornton defines self-healing as “a process of intention around addressing and improving one’s own wellbeing.” A Verywell Mind article elaborates, noting that self-guided healing often involves:

Recognizing emotional distress.
Engaging in practices that promote emotional healing.
Identifying negative thought patterns and areas of pain, trauma, or stress.
Applying daily practices to encourage healing.
Improving overall health and well-being.

Benefits of Self-Guided Healing

Pulling from the same VeryWellMind article as well as a LearntoLive article, Michele highlighted that self-guided healing brings many advantages:

Expands access beyond geography, program availability, or readiness for in-person help, which reduces barriers to healing.
Offer privacy and anonymity, which lessens stigma and hesitation to seek help.
Builds resilience, self-awareness, and emotional regulation.
Increases empowerment, purpose, and worthiness.
Can create change and prepare individuals for deeper engagement.
Provides flexibility, convenience, and privacy that encourages more people to start healing.

Why Self-Guided Healing Matters for Men

Research underscores why this approach is particularly valuable for men. The American Journal of Men’s Health reports that men engage more effectively with self-paced, flexible formats that support reflection and autonomy.

Similarly, an article in The Coaching Psychology examined help-seeking and masculinity, confirming that men are less likely to pursue help than women. When they do, they are most likely to choose online self-help, followed by coaching or one-on-one support. The least preferred option was counseling, including support groups.

The study identified four main reasons for this preference:

Anonymity
Control
Self-reliance
Fear of vulnerability

Together, these findings explain why the Finding Solid Ground self-guided format aligns so well with men’s needs and comfort levels.

A FLEXIBLE FRAMEWORK FOR EXPANDING ABORTION HEALING OPTIONS FOR MEN

Nyles explained that when men use Finding Solid Ground as a self-guided resource, each chapter unfolds as a structured experience led by video. The narrator guides men step by step to read selected sections of the book, listen to songs, reflect and write, pause for rest or physical activity, and pray.

For clients working independently, facilitators can share the program link at FindingSolidGround.com. Facilitators may opt to provide a copy of the paperback book, or share how men can access the digital book—and journal—at no cost. Facilitators can also offer themselves as a support person, ensuring men know how to reach them as they work through the process.

Nyles emphasized that while the book and video series help men face abortion-related grief and emotions with honesty and hope, solo work has its limits. This is where one-on-one or group facilitation adds relational support.

Six Needs of Grieving

Grief expert David Kessler identifies six core needs of grieving, which Nyles noted are talked about in the Finding Solid Ground Chapter Six video:

Be Seen – Your presence helps a man feel acknowledged in his pain.
Let It Out – Talking releases what writing alone cannot.
Drop the Guilt – Naming the past without judgment invites healing.
Stop the Bleed – Support can uncover deeper wounds beneath the surface.
Hold Both – Facilitators help men hold pain and love, regret and growth.
Find Meaning Together – Together, create space for hope and next steps.

Facilitating the Abortion Healing Process with Finding Solid Ground

Nyles explained that one-on-one and group sessions for Finding Solid Ground are for building connection and fostering discussion, engagement, and spiritual support.

He offered one approach to structuring this support.

Before each meeting:

Ask the participants to watch the assigned video, read the book sections, listen to songs, reflect and write, and pause to rest, be active, and pray. As the facilitator, do all of this yourself, as well.
Pray for each participant.
Send a simple reminder email with details about the meeting and chapter focus.

During meetings:

Provide a safe space where men are seen, heard, and supported.
Facilitate connection, discussion, and spiritual support.
Consider playing video segments or songs from the chapter.
Use open-ended questions such as:
- How did this week’s Finding Solid Ground go for you?
- What part of the story or song stood out?
- Was anything difficult to face about this week’s topic?
- Do you want to share something you wrote?
- Has anything shifted in how you see _____ (something from this week’s chapter/video)?
- Which verse meant the most to you, and why?
- What are you carrying forward from this chapter into next week?

After meetings:

Send encouragement and outline next steps.
Provide personal follow-up as needed.

This approach ensures that while men benefit from the privacy and structure of the self-guided process, they also experience the benefits of relational support that fosters healing.

FINDING SOLID GROUND MARKETING GRAPHICS

Michele introduced a new set of promotional tools designed to help providers market their Finding Solid Ground offerings. These include ready-to-use social media graphics and an email header. She emphasized that whether practitioners are offering the resource for self-guided use, in one-on-one sessions, or in group settings, these materials make it easy to market Finding Solid Ground to clients in a professional and consistent way.

VIRTUAL FINDING SOLID GROUND GROUP FOR MEN: STARTING 20 JAN 2026

Nyles announced an upcoming virtual Finding Solid Ground group for men who have been personally impacted by abortion. He will be leading the group, which will meet for six weeks on Tuesdays from January 20 through February 24, from 2:00–3:30 PM Eastern.

He encouraged attendees to mark their calendars and apply soon, since spots are limited. Application link

Q&A

Q&A: What Age Men is Finding Solid Ground Geared For?

Michele answered, “ The book is for any man who’s been impacted by abortion.” Men of all ages will benefit from Finding Solid Ground.

Q&A: Is Finding Solid Ground on BrightCourse?

Nyles shared that BrightCourse has expressed interest in adding Finding Solid Ground to its platform, and discussions are underway in hopes of making it available there in the coming months.

In the meantime, he reminded attendees that clients can access the video series, digital book, and downloadable journal at no cost through FindingSolidGround.com.

Q&A: Can Women Use Finding Solid Ground?

Michele explained that Finding Solid Ground was created specifically for men, with male-focused tone, language, and personal stories. Because of this, it may not resonate with many women—particularly those whose abortion experiences involve tension, betrayal, or pressure, where a masculine lens could even feel unhelpful.

However, some women may find aspects of the series meaningful—especially if they are healing alongside a partner or want to better understand the male perspective.

For women, we recommend Keys to Hope and Healing for Women book and video series, which was created specifically for women. Michele said, “It walks through emotions, grief, and healing with stories from women who’ve experienced abortion, struggled, and found hope.”

A new faith-based resource for women is also in development, following a similar process to work through emotions and grief, but with spiritual elements woven throughout.

LINKS

Click here to watch the video of this webinar.

Click here to access the Finding Solid Ground marketing materials

Click here to access the application for the Finding Solid Ground men’s group starting 20 JAN 2026

Go to FindingSolidGround.com to access the videos, book, music, journal, and more.

Click here to register for the next Abortion Healing Provider webinar.

Click here to access Support After Abortion’s Resource Library.

Click here to explore Support After Abortion’s services, resources, and training for Abortion Healing Providers.