The Role of Defensive Mechanisms and How It Can Prevent Healing from Abortion

The Role of Defensive Mechanisms and How It Can Prevent Healing from Abortion

Everyone has defense mechinisms to handle stressful situations and decisions.These play a role most importantly in traumatic instances, including an abortion decision,and how both men and women cope with a difficult decision and after effects, says Greg Hasek, a licensed clinician with more than 20 years of experience helping me work through trauma.

What is a defense mechanism?

Hasek describes a defense mechanism as essentially our built-in ways to survive the trauma and use rationalization or minimization, telling ourselves essentially untruths to just get through a difficult situation. We do this as a way to not feel the full effect of the trauma.

“For example, if we didn’t have the defense mechanism of denial when someone close to us dies, the overwhelming grief would be so difficult to deal with that we couldn’t function, couldn’t go back to work, couldn’t plan a funeral,” said Hasek.

So saying something like “maybe that person didn’t die” or “they are just on vacation and will get back soon” helps to get us through that initial shock and difficult time. The pain would be too much to handle and cope with otherwise.

But after the denial and you move through grief, you start to feel that pain. The defense mechanism works to help us survive until we can deal with it.

The harm defense mechanisms cause with an abortion decision

A common defense mechanism for an abortion decision is trying to rationalize that the fetus is not a human baby. For men especially who are not feeling any physical effects of the pregnancy, this line of defense is easier to tell themselves and believe, at least initially.

This will get people through that initial period of survival after an abortion decision. But after that time is over, the pain can come back with a vengeance and Hasek says that is when most people suffering with the pain of this decision will start acting out in ways that try to numb the pain and forget the decision. Men usually will take up behaviors to mask the pain like substance abuse and addictions.

Hasek reveals that studies from pregnancy centers show that when the woman, and if the man was with her, saw the ultrasound, they were more likely to decide not to abort. The ultrasound helps to break through that defense mechanism of attempting to ignore the reality of the humanity of the baby.

Culture and defense mechanisms

What if our culture as a whole recognized the humanity of the unborn child and the reality that abortion ends that life and causes pain to both men and women? Hasek says our culture would not survive, which is why it uses defense mechanisms in the first place.

“If our culture actually felt the reality of the millions of children that have been lost to abortion, the culture pain that they would feel, our country would be a mess,” said Hasek. “In fact, I think that’s part of why our culture is a mess because a lot of the pain is repressed.”

Have you read the classic novel, The Giver? Jonas, the main character, was being trained to hold the position of the Receiver of Memories, which meant he would receive both the joyful and painful memories of history. The past, and those good and bad decisions and their aftermaths, would be held only by him. If that didn’t happen, the Giver revealed that his society would crumble under the weight of the awful things done and the horrendous experiences that mankind had gone through. That society portrayed in the book had no defense mechanisms to handle the reality of painful decisions and the agony associated with them.

In our culture today, we deny that the baby a woman is carrying is a life. We deny any after-effects of abortion, whether mental, physical, or emotional, and suppress studies that show otherwise. Culture says men don’t – or should not – hurt from abortion.

These are all examples of the defense mechanisms our society uses today to get through the reality of abortion and its effects on individuals and their families.

Getting beyond the defense mechanism

For counselors and clinicians, Hasek strongly recommends asking if the patient has experienced a loss of a child through abortion in their intake form as they assess previous trauma.

Hasek has found almost 40% of his patients who are experiencing addiction or substance abuse also have an abortion decision in their past. By recognizing that trauma, Hasek is able to not only validate the feelings the male is experiencing but also work towards healing from that specific decision.

It is a crucial step in the healing process to recognize and validate the feelings men have surrounding their abortion experience, says Hasek. Our culture doesn’t talk about the male aspect of abortion hardly ever and healing programs for men are limited to trauma experienced in war. If men are not offered healing from abortion and continue to act out in ways that are devastating to themselves, to their partners, and to society, more people will be hurt and the cycle of abortion will continue infinitely. Support After Abortion has extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website, which anyone, from mental health clinicians to pregnancy centers, can take advantage of. To view speakers and presentations from the Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma conference.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Understanding How Unplanned Pregnancy Triggers Men’s Previous Trauma

Understanding How Unplanned Pregnancy Triggers Men’s Previous Trauma

Culture often dictates that men should hide their emotions and never seek help for wounds they have experienced, especially on an emotional or mental level. It’s an unfortunate reality of society because so many men have experienced trauma in some way – physical, sexual, emotional – that their emotions are glazed over and never acknowledged. The only widespread programs that exist for men dealing with trauma are those related to combat or war. Yet millions of men are in need of healing, not only for themselves but for their partners who have experienced the unhealthy reactions of men to a crisis pregnancy.

Greg Hasek has more than 20 years of experience in counseling and therapy, mainly working with men who are struggling with addictions, anger, and substance abuse. He estimates about 40% of his patients also have an abortion experience in their past, which contribute to many of their present unhealthy behaviors and addictions. His experience has shown that it is crucial for mental health professionals to learn how to guide men and their partners through healing from previous trauma and why a crisis pregnancy can trigger unhealthy responses from men who have experienced previous trauma.

Support After Abortion has extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website, which anyone, from mental health clinicians to pregnancy centers, can take advantage of. To view speakers and presentations from the Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma conference.

Statistics of male trauma

Here’s the context of the world men are growing up in and why it matters when they face an unplanned pregnancy:

  • One fifth of men by the age of 18 have experienced some form of sexual abuse,
  • One third of men will experience physical abuse,
  • One third of males grow up without fathers in their home.

Men who want healing from previous trauma often have no idea where to turn. Most programs addressing men’s mental health are for those who have experienced war-related trauma. But there are plenty of men who are dealing with the repercussions of childhood trauma – and it affects them in big ways as an adult when confronted with an unplanned pregnancy.

“Because a male has previous trauma in their life, they are going to respond to an unplanned pregnancy differently than if they did not have previous trauma,” said Hasek. “If a male has had previous trauma, he is more likely to be reactive.”

Behind the scenes in a man’s brain during an unplanned pregnancy

The right side of the brain is where the previous trauma is stored. If a man has experienced previous trauma, that is where it is held and when confronted with an unplanned pregnancy, the right brain is triggered, which tells the man to go into a reactive state of either fight or flight, Hasek explains.

“The brain says, ‘we need to settle this quick and fix this’. The left side of the brain, the rational part of the brain, goes off line,” said Hasek. “What the female doesn’t realize when she looks at him is that his reaction to those words from his previous trauma is going to have a big impact on the outcome of that decision and how he responds to the female, whether by coercion or abandonment or acquiescence to her decision.”

In summary, if a man has had previous trauma, he is going to be predisposed to a more reactive response when confronted with an unplanned pregnancy. Logic is completely thrown out the window. His partner is only seeing that reactive part and almost always does not understand what is happening behind the scenes in his brain.

Understanding this reaction is key to abortion healing

Obviously, the female is greatly impacted by how he responds to this trigger – whether he abandons her, coerces her, etc. What she doesn’t see is his previous trauma that is influencing that reaction.

A lot of Hasek’s work in counseling with couples is helping the woman understand where the man is coming from, which can be incredibly difficult given her resentment and anger towards her partner in many instances of abortion.

“If the couple is married and experienced a previous abortion together, often the woman has a lot of unresolved anger and resentment towards her partner for his reaction.,” said Hasek. “If counseling can intervene here and they can work through healing, a marriage can be saved.”

Hasek walks the woman through the previous trauma of the male and explains how that trauma makes his brain react the way it does and why there was no logic to his decisions. The male discloses his previous trauma to his partner during these sessions, which is often a powerful moment for the couple.


Forgiveness is so crucial for couples seeking to heal from an abortion decision. When the woman understands why her partner reacted the way he did, it paves the way for empathy and hopefully, forgiveness.

When she is able to open her heart and understand what was happening in her partner’s brain at the time of the crisis pregnancy and how he was triggered because of previous trauma, even though she felt so incredibly abandoned, she can move towards forgiveness. Hasek says she begins to understand why her partner made the decisions he did and how his previous trauma played so heavily into it. He says this process takes a lot of grace and empathy.

It’s important to note that the woman’s trauma and pain is never invalidated.

“She is being asked to see her partner through the same lens that God him sees through,” Hasek said.

He has seen such forgiveness working through this process for women especially, as they are the ones hurt so deeply by men when faced with an unplanned pregnancy.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Apologies from a Power Chick

Apologies from a Power Chick

The role that feminism and unresolved trauma plays in abortion decisions

Lisa Rowe is the CEO of Support After Abortion and reveals she has experienced trauma in her past. It is because of that trauma, and her response to it, that during conflict she has the tendency to revert to what her husband says is “power chick” mode – someone who takes the reins of any situation and tries to exert control over it, find a solution, and power through it. It’s not a complimentary description yet a role that many women who have experienced trauma will revert to.

Greg Hasek, a licensed clinician with over 20 years of experience working with men who have experienced trauma, including an abortion decision, and helping them find healing, acknowledges that trauma Lisa has been through and why it’s hurtful:

“You were in a position you were never supposed to be in and you are wired in a way you weren’t supposed to be wired,” said Hasek.

This is one of the big repercussions of unresolved trauma in men and why failure to acknowledge that trauma is hurting both men and women.

Feminism has turned roles of women and men upside down

Historically, men have been conditioned since the women’s rights movement to not fulfill their role as a male, to not be a part of the abortion decision. Culture says that abortion is a “woman’s choice” and that men should have nothing to do with it. Legally, men do not even have a say in what his partner decides about his own unborn child.

“Men have been demasculinized,” Hasek said.

Lisa agreed, “If you look at how men are portrayed in our culture, they lost that voice and bought into what society has been telling them.”

Men are seen as pepertrators of trauma when they coerce a woman into an abortion or when they don’t stand up for her and the child, abandoning them completely. Hasek has noted in previous podcast episodes that these responses often reveal that the man has endured some type of attachment or abandonment trauma in his childhood, or a previous abortion decision.

This does not exclude the man from taking responsibility for his decision, nor invalidates women’s trauma, but it can help explain why he made those choices and why it is so important to acknowledge and address previous trauma in order to avoid another abortion and instance of perpertrating trauma on a woman.

It’s when women are put into this kind of situation of a role reversal after a man abandons her during a time of crisis, that she often becomes a “power chick”, taking that leadership role almost by force and just trying to get through, exerting whatever power she can muster in order to control the situation and outcome.

Reflecting on her own experience, Lisa asks the question, “How many other women are portraying themselves as power chicks, giving the impression they are in charge of everything? My insecurities run so deep.”

How many men and women are walking around with these marks of trauma they endured that have not been acknowledged or healed? In all likelihood, more than any of us can possibly realize.

Acknowledging men’s trauma

Hasek says that acknowledging men’s trauma is key to breaking the cycle of abortion. The only trauma acknowledged in men that have consistent programs for healing around the country are for mental health issues stemming from combat and war-related trauma. While this an incredibly important and wonderful thing to have, any other trauma that men have endured from childhood trauma to an abortion decision, are not acknowledged or addressed.

And the resulting behavior and decisions from such trauma is detrimental to both men and their partners. They are misunderstood and the results are devastating.

Until programs widely exist and mental health clinicians start screening for trauma other than war-related trauma, “men are only going to be seen as the perpetrators,” said Hasek.

After attending a men’s trauma taskforce meeting, Lisa walked away feeling as though men may be misunderstood as perpetrators of trauma, especially when it comes to abortion. This was a huge realization coming from someone who has endured trauma inflicted by a man.

“Are men really pressuring women to have abortions? Are they really abandoning their roles as protectors and providers?,” she asked.

Research from Support After Abortion reveals that women are deeply affected by males and their roles in abortion. It also shows that upwards of 80 percent of males who experienced an abortion decision felt they had no say in it whatsoever.

Hasek has seen firsthand the behavior resulting from unresolved trauma inflicted in an abortion decision: sex addiction, substance abuse, alcohol addiction. No one is acknowledging these behaviors stem from abortion.

Ending the cycle of abortion

Through his extensive years helping men heal from trauma, Hasek believes that the cycle of abortion can indeed be broken if men are able to heal from trauma and take those leadership roles they were always meant to have.

Both Greg and Lisa agree that moving to a place where men can be validated for their trauma is crucial in addressing the cycle of abortion. If men are exhibiting depression or destructive behaviors and are being asked by clinicians, mental health providers, and even pregnancy centers, if they have had an abortion experience in their past, the opportunity for healing can be opened up. Men can rise to that leadership role they were designed to be and not engage in destructive behavior towards others and themselves.

Support After Abortion has extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website, which anyone, from mental health clinicians to pregnancy centers, can take advantage of. To view speakers and presentations from the 2021 Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma conference, please see this link.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

What is the Difference Between Shame and Guilt

What is the Difference Between Shame and Guilt

When Shame Hinders You From Healing

People often confuse shame and guilt or think they are one in the same. But according to Greg Hasek, who has more than 20 years of clinical experience helping men heal from addiction and trauma, with special focus on healing from abortion, they are completely different and both play a major role when it comes to healing from trauma.

Shame is a powerful emotion

Shame and guilt are different and when it comes to healing from past trauma, including abortion, the differences matter. Shame is a deeper, inner feeling of complete failure as a person, Greg Hasek explains. Oftentimes, the man never talks about shame, whether it’s from a previous abortion experience or sexual abuse or childhood trauma. It’s more than embarrassment and can present itself in several negative behaviors such as addictions and substance abuse.

Shame is incredibly powerful but for a male, it is especially potent. For example, when a woman comes to a man with the news that she is pregnant, he can either support her or not. If supportive, he will tell her he will be there for her and for the child and fulfill his duty to protect and provide for them both. If not, and he chooses to go ahead with the abortion, it is very common that afterwards he will feel as though he failed to protect his child and his partner. With that feeling, men can experience a deep level of shame, Hasek says.

“He was part of causing his partner trauma. He was part of causing the death of his child. When a man internalizes that double shame, it later gets hidden and is so deep that they don’t talk to anyone at all about it,” said Hasek. “It stays hidden for years and oftentimes that shame comes out in other ways like addiction and substance abuse.”

Shame also negatively affects relationships

Besides addiction and substance abuse issues men face when dealing with shame as part of a traumatic experience, they are hindered in forming intimate emotional bonds, most especially with their partners.

When discussing shame with his patients, Hasek often compares it to the feeling that Adam felt in the Garden of Eden after choosing sin. He went and hid from God, hid from forgiveness and that intimate relationship he shared with God.

Men are not unlike Adam when dealing with shame. They also hide and bury shame, refusing to give their entire selves to their partners.

“Intimacy is so limited when shame is involved,” said Hasek. “Men cannot engage in intimacy with their partner when they are hiding. They don’t go to their partners, the people who love them most, and share those deep feelings of shame.”

In relationships, an almost sure sign a man has some hidden shame he is dealing with is assuming a defensive position when confronted with a behavior of his that his partner is struggling with.

Hasek sees this so many times during marriage counseling. For example, the wife says she doesn’t like when her husband drinks and then the husband gets very defensive and accuses her of something he doesn’t like. Instead of addressing what she is saying, he immediately goes on defense, shoving that feeling of shame back into the recesses of where it came. This is a big reason why shame is so powerful: it negatively affects the man physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Guilt is a different emotion

Guilt is more like regret, whereas the person will feel bad for something they have done and want to make amends. When this emotion presents itself, Hasek says, the man is ready to begin healing.

When guilt presents itself, it is often at a point where the man has positively confronted those feelings of shame if it was something he chose to do himself that lent itself to shame (versus something traumatic happening to him like childhood abuse that was not his choice). He’s ready to ask for forgiveness. He’s also ready to receive forgiveness.

Getting there from the recesses of shame, Hasek says, takes time, especially if the shame originates from an abortion decision. Support After Abortion has extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

The opposite of shame is grace

One important thing Hasek notes is that when men come to him for help in healing from abortion or they go to Support After Abortion for help, they will always be met with no judgment.

“The opposite of shame is grace and Support After Abortion wants to be a place of grace. So if anyone has shame they have not been able to deal with, I want them to know we are a place of grace, which means that we see them through God’s eyes, who always offers forgiveness to us that we don’t even deserve,” said Hasek.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Speaking Directly to a Man About His Abortion

Speaking Directly to a Man About His Abortion

When Chris Rainey experienced an abortion decision with his then-girlfriend, now-wife in his 20s, he didn’t talk about it for 17 years. Neither of them did. They were young and felt they could not take care of a baby, like many people in that situation. But when the walls came down one night and he and his wife started talking about the abortion, he was shattered. He had no idea how broken his wife had felt about the abortion so many years earlier and he did not know what to do with his own feelings of brokenness.

His story is not uncommon. Current statistics show that one in every four women will have an abortion experience, which means one in every four men will also have experience with one, whether they know it or not. According to internal consumer research from Support After Abortion, many men who are aware of an abortion decision do seek out help but do not know where to go. Like Chris, they were facing difficult emotions and wanted to “fix” them as men like to do.

In his role on the men’s task force for healing at Support After Abortion and volunteer at a pregnancy center, he seeks to “equip other men who are where I was.” It’s a big job but he has seen the tremendous progress and healing men have experienced when they acknowledge the abortion decision and their negative feelings around it.

Men do show signs of hurt after abortion

Like other guests on the Support After Abortion podcast and Men’s Conference have said, Chris sees that men engage in all types of dysfunctional behavior after an abortion decision, often paralleling PTSD symptoms, engaging in substance abuse, and choosing activities that will help them forget the negative feelings stemming from the abortion decision.

When Chris works with men, acknowledging the feelings they are having is key.

They need to understand that all those feelings and emotions they are having are okay to have and normal. Then he turns their attention to ways of coping with those emotions that are not self-destructive. Support After Abortion has extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

“We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, meaning that if we have something that is bothering us, we stuff it back down time after time. It doesn’t make it go away. Getting it out, talking about it, and getting a different perspective can dilute the negative emotions associated with that negative decision,” said Chris.

Practical Ways to Connect with Men

Chris seeks to connect with men who have experienced an abortion decision and he certainly has his own ways of doing it, which he describes as an “ambush.” He volunteers in a pregnancy resource center and often has the opportunity to talk with men when they come for STD testing. He asks the abortion question soon after the small talk is over and while it often takes the men off guard, they always continue the conversation.

Many of the men Chris works with are many years past the abortion experience and have very similar reasons for choosing abortion that he did. He encourages them to follow the PART method.

P stands for Prayer. He encourages men to consider opening that door for prayer, even if they haven’t done so in a long time.

A stands for Associate. Chris encourages men to associate with like-minded and trusted individuals. Most men do not want to sit down in a circle and talk about feelings. They are more comfortable doing physical activities

R stands for Read. Chris has many books he recommends to men on a healing journey from abortion, including a book called “Deadly Emotions,” which runs through the negative effects of emotions on the body and vice versa. It’s a great book to motivate men to

T stands for Think, as in change your thinking in order to change your life. When a negative thought comes up, switch it up immediately to come up with something positive. Chris says humans are not wired to have two conflicting emotions simultaneously. When a negative thought comes up, he encourages men to replace it immediately with a thought of thanksgiving.

“There is healing and they can be set free from the guilt they are feeling,” Chris said.

A message for Pregnancy Centers

Most pregnancy centers either do not have a healing program for men or have a very minimal one. Yet men are hurting from abortion, too.

Chris has some advice for pregnancy centers looking to start a healing program for men:
“Start your day with the fact that for every abortion, a man is involved. There are men around who have experienced abortion who are just as hurt as women are, but in different ways.”

He suggests to ask women about the male when they come in for abortion counseling as well. While men can be hard to reach, Chris encourages pregnancy centers to plant that seed with the woman that she can share with the father. Or have a private conversation with the man if he is with her. Offer him help if or when he starts to have negative emotions following an abortion decision.

Chris is also the author of “Healing the Father: Emotional and Spiritual Freedom for the Post-Abortive Man”, where he lays out his abortion story and offers healing resources for men in similar situations. Additionally, he created a study as a companion guide to walk through the healing process either individually or with a trusted companion for men.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Reclaiming Lost Fatherhood –A Man’s Story of Abortion Loss and Recoverywith Gregory Mayo

Reclaiming Lost Fatherhood –
A Man’s Story of Abortion Loss and Recovery
with Gregory Mayo

Greg Mayo experienced an enormous amount of trauma by the age of 22. He suffered abandonment by his father at a young age, and then verbal and physical abuse from his step-father, Greg had also been personally impacted by two abortion decisions. Feeling alone and not being able to trust anyone, Greg started to run from the pain of abuse and abortion. He recalls, “I began running away from the pain, running away from the abortion issue. I felt like I did not have a voice and like I did not have anyone to talk to.

While others saw a charming, funny, life of the party, inside Greg was depressed, lost and scared. This feeling of isolation began to impact not only his mental health, but also his relationships as well. After years of running from the pain and shame after abuse and abortion Greg knew he needed help, but did not know where to start or where to go to find healing.

At the age of 18, Greg and his girlfriend found out they were pregnant. He did not agree with or support the abortion decision, but it happened, and sent him down a path of pain and confusion. He recalls, “one side tells you it is not a baby, which discredits the grief and sadness your feeling. The other side tells you, you are a horrible person, which brings pain and shame.” It was this pain, shame and confusion that caused Greg to engage in destructive behaviors. The unhealed trauma of abuse and abortion, caused Greg to get stuck in the same cycle of bad decisions, that led to his second abortion experience at the age of 22.

The lack of trust from his unresolved childhood issues and the shame of his abortions began to impact Greg’s relationships and increase his feeling of isolation. Before meeting his wife, he noticed that when he started to get close to someone he would find fault in them, and create a reason to leave. He recalls, “I moved from place to place and relationship to relationship to constantly reinvent myself, so that no one could ever really get to know me.

Greg eventually did meet and marry his wife but the pain of his abortion also had a direct impact on the relationship with his children. Greg became aware of his over nurturing and overprotective parenting style, that he developed as he puts it, “to make up for not being able to protect my unborn children.

Greg began attending church and his Pastor encouraged him to learn from “hard times“. This led to Greg sharing that he had two abortions in a men’s small group. To Greg’s surprise other men had been impacted by abortion as well, and in that moment it was affirmed for Greg, he was not alone!

Healing can often start with sharing your abortion experience, but abortion healing is an on-going process. Greg states, “as we change, our spiritual and recovery journey changes. We continue to grow, develop new insights, heal and move to the next insight and next level of healing.” Greg continued this ongoing process by finding and reading many books about abortion and abortion recovery. He continued to talk with his pastor about the feelings of pain, shame and isolation he had been experiencing for so many years. It was important for Greg to continue a relationship with his pastor because as he states, “when a man becomes vulnerable and shares his story he will need a mentor to walk alongside him and continue to guide him. He cannot do this alone.” For more information on the virtual healing groups for men visit our website at

As part of his healing journey, he learned to name and honor his unborn children, Abigail and Benjamin. He decided to write a letter to each child, apologizing for the abortion decision. While sitting on a beach he wrote to each of them letters of repentance, forgiveness and love then read each letter out loud before letting it go in the river. This process gave life and dignity to his children and to past relationships.

Greg found hope, healing and heard a calling to help other men suffering from pain, shame and isolation after abortion. He has become a facilitator for Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, 12 step recovery program for anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. It is a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling our lives. He also wrote the book, Almost Daddy. This book, brings awareness to the need for abortion healing and starts the conversation for abortion healing with men.

Greg encourages all men suffering from pain, shame, and isolation after abortion to take the first small step towards healing. “Of course you are afraid, you are going to be dealing with uncomfortable emotions and experiences. But you do not have to do it all at once and you are not alone!

If you are a man suffering from pain, regret and shame after abortion, you are not alone. Please call our confidential hopeline at 1-844-289-HOPE. For more information on how to help men suffering from the pain and shame after abortion or to sign up for one of our virtual healing groups, visit our website at