Unraveling the Roots of Men's Trauma

Join us for a free, one-day virtual conference

Saturday, October 16, 2021 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. EST

Men are hurting from abortion and other traumas. Often, we confuse their real pain with other issues like anger, substance abuse, work, and relational struggles. 

Everyone is welcome – Leaders, Directors, Counselors and Men seeking healing.

Join us for our free, online conference. Learn how to effectively connect with men and be empowered to prioritize men’s healing. 

Save the Date:  October 16, 2021 from 9 am – 4 pm EST.

Join Now: www.MenHealingFromTrauma.com

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Join Us To Learn How To Help Men Heal From Trauma

Gregory Mayo share his abortion story and the road to healing.
Joseph Roebuck talks about his abortion story and the impact and the road to healing.
Todd Reinschmidt discusses talking with men at pregnancy centers.
Greg Hasek helps identify trauma barriers to men healing after abortion.
Greg Hasek talks about the need for healing programs specific to men and why it is important
Greg Hasek discusses how men experience trauma differently than women
Greg Hasek speaks about the language used for men who are impacted by abortion
Pastor Marc talks about lost fatherhood and how to give unbound men's healing.
Help men heal from trauma by learning from Greg Hasek explain how to use the Right Brain.
Janine Marrone MR
Janine Marrone speaks about understanding the background of the healing landscape before Support After Abortion was founded
Janine Marrone gives insights into the importance of Consumer Research and it's influence on healing strategy for Support After Abortion and Pregnancy Centers.
Janine Marrone helps discover the groundbreaking insights from Consumer Research study with men who've been impacted by abortion

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Reclaiming Lost Fatherhood –
A Man’s Story of Abortion Loss and Recovery
with Gregory Mayo

Greg Mayo experienced an enormous amount of trauma by the age of 22. He suffered abandonment by his father at a young age, and then verbal and physical abuse from his step-father, Greg had also been personally impacted by two abortion decisions. Feeling alone and not being able to trust anyone, Greg started to run from the pain of abuse and abortion. He recalls, “I began running away from the pain, running away from the abortion issue. I felt like I did not have a voice and like I did not have anyone to talk to.

While others saw a charming, funny, life of the party, inside Greg was depressed, lost and scared. This feeling of isolation began to impact not only his mental health, but also his relationships as well. After years of running from the pain and shame after abuse and abortion Greg knew he needed help, but did not know where to start or where to go to find healing.

At the age of 18, Greg and his girlfriend found out they were pregnant. He did not agree with or support the abortion decision, but it happened, and sent him down a path of pain and confusion. He recalls, “one side tells you it is not a baby, which discredits the grief and sadness your feeling. The other side tells you, you are a horrible person, which brings pain and shame.” It was this pain, shame and confusion that caused Greg to engage in destructive behaviors. The unhealed trauma of abuse and abortion, caused Greg to get stuck in the same cycle of bad decisions, that led to his second abortion experience at the age of 22.

The lack of trust from his unresolved childhood issues and the shame of his abortions began to impact Greg’s relationships and increase his feeling of isolation. Before meeting his wife, he noticed that when he started to get close to someone he would find fault in them, and create a reason to leave. He recalls, “I moved from place to place and relationship to relationship to constantly reinvent myself, so that no one could ever really get to know me.

Greg eventually did meet and marry his wife but the pain of his abortion also had a direct impact on the relationship with his children. Greg became aware of his over nurturing and overprotective parenting style, that he developed as he puts it, “to make up for not being able to protect my unborn children.

Greg began attending church and his Pastor encouraged him to learn from “hard times“. This led to Greg sharing that he had two abortions in a men’s small group. To Greg’s surprise other men had been impacted by abortion as well, and in that moment it was affirmed for Greg, he was not alone!

Healing can often start with sharing your abortion experience, but abortion healing is an on-going process. Greg states, “as we change, our spiritual and recovery journey changes. We continue to grow, develop new insights, heal and move to the next insight and next level of healing.” Greg continued this ongoing process by finding and reading many books about abortion and abortion recovery. He continued to talk with his pastor about the feelings of pain, shame and isolation he had been experiencing for so many years. It was important for Greg to continue a relationship with his pastor because as he states, “when a man becomes vulnerable and shares his story he will need a mentor to walk alongside him and continue to guide him. He cannot do this alone.” For more information on the virtual healing groups for men visit our website at https://www.supportafterabortion.com/virtual-support-groups.

As part of his healing journey, he learned to name and honor his unborn children, Abigail and Benjamin. He decided to write a letter to each child, apologizing for the abortion decision. While sitting on a beach he wrote to each of them letters of repentance, forgiveness and love then read each letter out loud before letting it go in the river. This process gave life and dignity to his children and to past relationships.

Greg found hope, healing and heard a calling to help other men suffering from pain, shame and isolation after abortion. He has become a facilitator for Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered, 12 step recovery program for anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. It is a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling our lives. He also wrote the book, Almost Daddy. This book, brings awareness to the need for abortion healing and starts the conversation for abortion healing with men.

Greg encourages all men suffering from pain, shame, and isolation after abortion to take the first small step towards healing. “Of course you are afraid, you are going to be dealing with uncomfortable emotions and experiences. But you do not have to do it all at once and you are not alone!

If you are a man suffering from pain, regret and shame after abortion, you are not alone. Please call our confidential hopeline at 1-844-289-HOPE. For more information on how to help men suffering from the pain and shame after abortion or to sign up for one of our virtual healing groups, visit our website at www.supportafterabortion.com.

One Man’s Journey of Healing After Abortion,
and Helping Other Men Heal
with Dr. Joseph Roebuck

Joseph Roebuck was a young man when his long term girlfriend revealed they were pregnant. Joseph was disturbed by this news, angry at the abortion decision and felt his wound of abandonment resurface in that moment. Abandonment issues from his mother and the pain after abortion led Joseph to struggle with trust, intimacy, and confusion after abortion for many years. As he searched for ways to help others, he found something far greater. For the first time he was able to find healing after abortion and offer greater capacity to help men suffering from pain and shame after abortion.

When his longtime girlfriend told him she was pregnant, he remembers feeling disturbed and troubled. He states, “this was not a part of my plan, but I sheepishly asked her to marry me.” His girlfriend was a product of divorce and denied his proposal. She did not want her child to go through the same pain after divorce that she had. She decided to have an abortion. He remembers thinking, “I cannot in good conscience pay for or support this decision.” After the abortion, Joseph and his partner never spoke of or processed this painful experience.

Joseph and his relationship began to feel the adverse impacts of abortion. After a series of intimacy and trust issues, the relationship traumatically ended. He all of sudden felt the pain of codependency and the wound of abandonment, similar to the one he had felt from his mother as a child. He was alone again, scared and confused. He started to focus all his attention inward, on himself and his school work. He went on to earn two master’s degrees and a doctoral degree. Joseph realized that his pursuit of extensive education and accomplishments were coping mechanism to the pain and loss he felt from the abortion decision as a young man.

While Joseph sought counseling, he was never asked about previous trauma or abortion. He began to volunteer as a way to help cope with the loss he had experienced. He found great comfort when he volunteered for a Big Brother program. Developing relationships with the children in this program added meaning to his life, helped him heal from his childhood abandonment and helped start to heal the wound of lost fatherhood.

Ten years went on and Jospeh found himself called to help men suffering from abortion through Rachel’s Vineyard. Rachels Vineyard is a weekend retreat program that offers men and women the opportunity to examine their abortion experience, identify the ways that the loss impacted them in the past and present and helps to acknowledge any unresolved feelings that many individuals struggle with.

He recalls, “the retreat uses a number of spiritually guided exercises, centered around gospel passages. Through a guided meditation of gospels such as the ‘Woman at the Well’, I was asked to place myself with Jesus Christ at the well, and listen to what He was saying to me.” This meditation, and the whole retreat opened a space for Dr. Joseph to grieve the loss of his child and for the first time he felt a connection with his child. He named his son Paul, and received a Certificate of Life for him. He states, “the retreat is the source of healing, I keep going back to, because it was there I was first connected to my son.

While healing is not one-size fits all, all healing journeys are on-going and a life-long process. Joseph continues his abortion healing journey with continued volunteer work and his most recent involvement as a facilitator of the Unraveled Roots Virtual Healing group through Support After Abortion. Dr. Joseph encourages all men suffering from the pain after abortion to “embrace the awkwardness and scariness you are feeling. The risk is small compared to the benefits you will gain!”

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). For women who’s partner, loved one or friend has had an abortion visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Talking with Men at Pregnancy Centers
with Todd Reinschmidt

Men are impacted by abortion. Men stuff down their emotions and pain, particularly when our culture doesn’t validate that men hurt from abortion. Todd Reinschmidt from Venice, Florida developed a unique program that engages men who enter pregnancy centers with their girlfriend or spouse. He shared strategies and practical suggestions on how you can invite healing to men who’ve been impacted by abortion or pregnancy loss.

Todd spent several hours every week volunteering at his local pregnancy center. His initial objective was to help guide the men who stayed in the center’s waiting room as their pregnant partners sought medical treatment. As he helped these men navigate the fear and overall extreme emotions, it became clear to Todd that these conversations were actually saving babies’ lives. When both women and men were provided helpful information to their decision process, partners together were changing their decisions about abortion, to keep their future babies.

This positive effect drove the creation of Rookie Dads, a program designed as a support system from conception through birth and the early stages of being a father. Todd would train and equip volunteer coaches, who would take shifts –like the female volunteers– in the center, to be available when men would come in with partners to address the pregnancy situation at hand. Todd quickly understood that oftentimes, not only was there a current pregnancy situation, but that many of these men had previous pregnancy experiences, and a significant amount of those were aborted. Todd knew he needed to address current fears about the current pregnancy (finances, living situations, relationship issues, and all the other complexities) as well as their previous experiences. There was a tremendous need for healing and support in the post-abortion process. This was the start of Support After Abortion.

Todd knew that the foundation of the healing process was to allow men to reach a level of vulnerability and share their previous abortion experiences by talking and engaging with them in a non-threatening manner. To do that, it’s important to form a relational connection. Todd and other coaches would take time to speak with the men in the centers about more than just abortion because there is so much more to these men. He would ask them about work, sports, even the weather, to help put them at ease. By building this rapport, men felt comfortable enough to channel the emotions they were experiencing into words. This vulnerability only grew as Todd shared his own experiences of hardship in his own life.

As Todd spoke to dozens of men, he quickly acknowledged that the dominant emotions that most of those men were carrying were shame and not being good enough. For so many of them, the guilt and shame they carried from a past abortion were not simply repressed but truly buried. Todd witnessed an array of reactions, from agitated to weeping or tearful. Through these feelings of shame led to unraveling feelings of anger. Todd understood that these heightened emotions due to past trauma were quite possibly impacting these men’s ability to think clearly about the current pregnancy situation. These heightened emotions also stopped these men from seeing that, should they re-experience this trauma, those feelings of shame and not being good enough would deepen or worsen.

To help sift through these emotions, Todd helped discern lies from the truth, shifting away from lies of shame, guilt, and not feeling good enough towards the truth that everyone makes mistakes, does things they regret, but that that didn’t have to be a shame they carried with them through life. Moving toward a message of acceptance and love for who they each were as a person, regardless of their pasts allows Todd and the coaches to begin discussing the current pregnancy situation at hand.

Many men who had dealt with abortions wished that they had spoken up. The most common response to a pregnancy situation was, “It’s your body, I’ll support whatever you decide.” But Todd reminded them that while it is her body, that baby is theirs as well. While the men said that thinking it was a loving and supportive position to take, what the women really needed was honesty: regarding their opinion, their thought process, and a firm decision on their part. Todd encouraged the men that, whatever their opinion was, it was their responsibility to vocalize that, because she needs to hear a definitive opinion from her partner. He would explain that this lack of response is actually not a loving response, despite their good intentions. This was never a criticism and was what Todd would use as the platform to validate whatever it was these men were feeling. Validating the feelings of men in these situations carries particular weight, making sure no one feels judged or attacked. It doesn’t matter if a coach agrees or disagrees with an opinion: validation is a strategy that is critical to the success of the conversation.

When aiming for validation, Todd knows that mirroring the information shared with him goes a long way, making the men feel truly heard and listening to. Most often, the shame these men feel from their past abortion experiences tells that they’re not worthy of being seen. Being seen lays the foundation for these men to tackle their feelings head-on and have more challenging conversations. This is why it is so important for Todd that the coaches lay a foundation with the men first, breaking the ice and making it clear that this conversation is a safe space.

“If you don’t prepare your own heart for these conversations, you say things in a way that drives the person to shut down, you’ve eliminated the possibility of having an impact,” Todd shared.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call our confidential hotline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). For women whose partner, loved one, or friend has had an abortion visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create a dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Trauma Barriers to Men's Healing After Abortion
with Greg Hasek

Unsurprisingly, 80 percent of people who seek out counseling are females. Greg Hasek, a licensed counselor with more than 20 years of experience, lightly shares that the 20 percent of men who go to counseling are being dragged in by their wives. Most men will tell you that counseling is the very last thing they want to do with their time and will only go if they are in a most precarious situation, usually when their own lives or marriages are hanging in the balance.

Those are the situations that Greg Hasek specializes in, most specifically in situations where men have sex addictions, are dealing with past trauma, or PTSD. But Hasek has another specialization: how abortion affects men. And, those roots run deep. Almost always, men aren’t coming to him for help with the aftermath of abortion. They are seeking him out because of an addiction that has nearly destroyed their lives.

From a counselor’s perspective, finding men who have been harmed by an abortion decision is no easy task for the reasons mentioned above. They are not walking into pregnancy centers asking for help. They are not walking into the offices of mental health professionals and asking for help to overcome their intense feelings about the abortion. But these men exist in droves.

Think about it: there are nearly one million abortions that happen in the United States alone every year. Even if only a small percentage of the fathers are suffering negative effects from the abortion, that is still a large number.

What does abortion have to do with those addictions? They are sometimes a root cause or they have made the addiction or behavior infinitely worse as the man tries to numb the pain of the abortion decision.

There are many reasons why men won’t seek out counseling in general, much less to deal with the pain from an abortion. The two biggest ones, according to Hasek are these:

1 – Our culture hardly ever validates men for the trauma they’ve experienced. The exception would be for war-related PTSD and trauma. But abortion trauma? Not a chance. Men shouldn’t hurt from abortion, our culture says, it’s a woman’s issue.

2 – Men have been conditioned since an early age to suppress feelings and not show emotion. Crying is out of the question. Showing weakness is frowned upon. This doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there; it just means that men have had to find other outlets, including unhealthy ones, to release pent up emotions.

As a licensed clinician, Greg helps men and help them heal from not only their addictions and unhealthy behaviors and PTSD, but also from the trauma caused by the abortion experience. He has found that somewhere between 30 – 40 percent of men who come to him with sex addictions also have experienced abortion trauma in their past.

Remember that rock thrown into the calm lake? When a man experiences trauma from an abortion, the effects are felt far beyond his own life. His detachment from his partner and his children is very real and very powerful. When his partner was inside the clinic, he felt a double hit to his natural instinct to protect her and to protect his child, that fight response. His partner felt her natural flight response hindered while on that table. When he looks at her, he feels like he let her down. He feels like he let his child down. Those failures may predispose him to delve deeper into his addictions, no matter what they may be, and drive him away from his partner and family.

The good news is that there are resources for men hurting from abortion. They need not suffer alone. We will continue to have short, but powerful, discussions with Greg Hasek, who has been helping men find healing from past abortion will also be a key speaker at the Unraveling Roots of Men’s Trauma conference sponsored by Support After Abortion on October 16, 2021.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Did you know that men heal from trauma differently than women?

Greg Hasek, a licensed clinician with more than 20 years of experience, helps men heal from addiction and trauma. He also has a special focus of leading men through the healing process after experiencing an abortion decision. Through his extensive experience working with men, Hasek understands men cannot sit in a circle and share their feelings like women do. It just doesn’t work like that and even people with the best of intentions in helping men heal from abortion cannot expect them to go through the same healing process women do.

During a discussion with Support After Abortion focused on helping men heal from trauma, Hasek tells a story of an Asian nation who experienced a devastating tsunami. After the disaster, psychologists sent to help noticed that the women who had all experienced the loss of a child had gathered on the beach to sit together, sharing their feelings, hugging, and crying. The psychologists couldn’t find the men anywhere. Eventually, they found them in the countryside and asked them why they weren’t supporting the women at the beach. They said they needed to get wood to rebuild homes, obtain material, and do the physical work. They didn’t have time to sit and share their feelings; they had tasks they needed to do.

This isn’t to say men don’t hurt from trauma or have a need to share with others their hurt. Greg shares the story to show that men often do not express their hurt in the same ways that women do. They aren’t wired for that kind of healing process and those of us in leadership, healing programs, churches or pregnancy centers who are trying to reach men cannot expect these men who have experienced trauma to sit around and talk to each other like women do.

Where are the men?

Have you ever watched men on a golf course sitting across from each other sharing their feelings? No, they walk next to each other, they don’t put themselves in a vulnerable position eye-to-eye.

“We can’t put guys in a group to look at each other and share their feelings. They are more likely to feel comfortable doing something active,” said Hasek. “It needs to be more action-oriented. We need to create curriculum that is not only focused on how to help men grieve differently but also that is more active.”

Men not only grieve differently than women: they think in a completely different way. Hasek says that when you ask a man how they feel about the abortion experience, they often don’t connect to the baby. Instead, they connect to the role that they lost. Men will say that the child would have been at the age to throw a baseball or go to a game together. Men connect to the loss of the child not so much in a physical way like the woman usually will, but more inside of a role they would have had when the child started to grow up and could share in physical connections.

Today’s culture tells men they shouldn’t hurt from abortion, much less be involved in one at all. That’s a woman’s issue, culture screams. And many men who come to Greg Hasek for counseling are going for something other than abortion such as a sex addiction, PTSD, or other trauma. Hasek has found that 30 to 40 percent of his patients who have an addiction also have an impact from abortion. They need healing from trauma just like women do but in a completely different way.

While we won’t be able to have a ropes course or physical activity, we will have experts like Greg Hasek at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online men’s conference on October 16, 2021. We’ll be exploring this issue, as well as others that are overlooked when it comes to men healing from abortion trauma. They need to connect to their emotions in order to start healing and connection to feelings isn’t always easy for men.

Reaching men on a emotional level to heal from trauma

Have you heard men say they don’t ever cry except while watching movies? That’s because video and music are being used to connect the viewer to the situation, integrating the right and left brain to work together.

“If I can tell men aren’t connecting emotionally, I will bring video and music into our counseling session because they connect with the right side brain where a male’s trauma is stored. Say I show a video regarding abortion laws that is male-focused, those defense mechanisms will come down and the male starts to feel the emotions while watching the video. The video and music cause the right and left brain to integrate, causing the man to connect with his emotions.I can’t get to that point by just talking about the abortion,” explained Hasek.

Biology matters and organizations need to look at how men are wired and work with their nature instead of forcing them to sit in a room across from other men and sharing their feelings like women do.

At Support After Abortion, we are developing new curriculms to help men heal from abortion with input from experts like Greg Hasek. We are aiming to get at both the heart and mind of a man who has experienced abortion. We currently have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Viewing Men's Trauma Differently Than Women

In today’s culture, boys are conditioned from a young age to suppress emotions, to never reveal weakness, and to hold back tears when faced with hurt or injuries. Yet, men certainly experience a range of intense emotions, both good and bad, and oftentimes do not know how to express those feelings after they have experienced something as traumatizing as abortion. It will come out in some way though, and mental health professionals should be aware of those symptoms and how to help in the healing process.

Men are so often shoved aside in the abortion debate because “they don’t have a uterus.” Women are front and center as if gender decides who may be allowed to hurt following an abortion. Often, men aren’t given a second thought when it comes to abortion. They aren’t allowed to feel anything, much less be hurt by it. Our culture tells men to get out of the picture when an abortion decision needs to be made and let women handle it. Yet abortion is devasting for both women and men, regardless of cultural acceptance, and the effects play out differently within individuals affected by the abortion decision.

Greg Hasek is a licensed clinician who specializes in sex addiction, trauma, and PTSD. He has extensive experience – more than 16 years’ worth – in recognizing the symptoms presented by men who have been affected by a past abortion experience and leading them on the path of healing from the addictions they often present as well as the abortion. He is one of our most trusted experts at Support After Abortion to help men heal from a past abortion experience and will be a featured speaker at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online men’s conference on October 16, 2021.

Hasek, knowing the lack of resources for men who have been hurt by abortion in some way, sought to figure out if there may be connections between sex addictions, past trauma, attachment issues, and abortion. Sure enough, he found that between 30 to 40 percent of his patients with sex addictions also had a past abortion experience. The connections were also apparent within patients who suffered some type of childhood trauma.

“Men, in terms of experiencing trauma or hurt, present differently than women. Oftentimes, they present through their symptoms, or act out their pain through their symptoms. So if we are going to say men don’t hurt from abortion in our culture, instead of looking for the evidence of the millions of men who had abortions but are not coming forward or showing that they hurt, we need to look differently for the evidence of their symptoms. And if we can say, maybe those symptoms tie back to the abortion experience then maybe we can say yes, there are more men hurting from abortion – it just looks differently,” Greg explains.

Men experience abortion differently than women and while both present some similar behaviors, men involved in an abortion decision, Hasek found, frequently present through anger or addiction. And the abortion decision usually exasperates the addiction. For example, if a man has a sex addiction, gets his girlfriend pregnant, and makes an abortion decision, that decision will almost always intensify the sex addiction. It may also cause attachment issues for him and his partner and even his future children. Between partners who have experienced abortion, 80% of them won’t stay together. Men can no longer attach to their partner, to their children, or even themselves.

Men typically bond with others on an emotional level through physical activity. With abortion, they never have that option with their unborn baby. Men are wired to have an attachment with their children and their partner. When an abortion happens, there is a critical attachment break. The trauma caused by abortion in men is very real and apparent and their needs are going to be naturally different than women in order to heal from the abortion.

At Support After Abortion, we are looking at new ways to approach the abortion decision. Men are often left out of this conversation, but they need healing resources, too. We have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

Until culture changes their view of men and seeing them as wounded by abortion, very few men are going to go to places for help. They won’t show up at a pregnancy center and most don’t even know there is help available or understand where their addictions are rooted. They may not even realize their destructive actions are caused by an abortion decision. One way to bridge the gap with men in your communities who are hurting from abortion is to connect with your local mental health professionals and let them know there are resources for men who are presenting a sex addiction, or another addiction, and ask to partner together to offer help.

Society must give men permission to hurt from abortion. Their feelings are valid and they need to know there are people and places that can help them. They don’t need to be prisoners to anger, addiction, and trauma.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Healing From The Wounds Of Lost Fatherhood After Abortion

When men hear the word “abortion”, it often means something entirely different than when women hear the same word and have experienced an abortion decision. However, there are so few people in our culture, including therapists, practitioners, partners, and medical experts, who not only speak to men in a way they can connect with about abortion but who are able to validate the feelings and emotions men are experiencing.

Greg Hasek, a licensed clinician with more than 20 years of experience, helps men heal from addiction, trauma, and after experiencing an abortion decision. He is adamant that men are being left out of the picture when it comes to validation that yes, they have been hurt by abortion, and that yes, they are allowed to seek help and healing from that decision.

Our culture tells us that men have no place in the abortion decision, that it’s a woman’s choice. This can leave men feeling isolated, alone, and unsure of how to get the help they need or if they even deserve it. Oftentimes, Hasek notes, men come to him dealing with other trauma or addictions and don’t realize the pain the underlying abortion experience is causing them, which almost always contributes in a negative way to their addictions.

But what if mental health professionals and those in healing ministries started approaching the topic of abortion in a totally different way? What if they started asking questions that no one has asked these men before in order to help them connect to the emotions surrounding the abortion experience?

Lost role of fatherhood

“Men don’t connect with the actual trauma that the women go through when they go to the abortion clinic- so we need to ask the question, what was it like for you not to be a dad, to lose that role of not being a father to the child that you lost?,” said Hasek.

As we’ve learned in previous podcasts with Hasek, men and women process trauma very differently. They also bond differently with others, which plays a big part when dealing with trauma and relationships.

Men connect best with each other by doing things together like playing golf, going on expeditions, or enjoying outdoor excursions. They bond by doing not just by talking, and it’s unfair to expect them to sit in a circle and talk about their feelings like women do.

Men bond with their children the same way as they do other adults. They connect with them through physical activity and through that activity, are able to connect with their emotions. This is why Hasek asks men who have gone through an abortion experience how they feel about losing the role of a father or losing that time they would have spent playing ball with their kid. By connecting to the lost role of fatherhood, they can connect to the emotions surrounding the abortion decision in a concrete way.

Hasek asks men this question, one that they most likely have never been asked before.

“It really throws them for a loop. Oftentimes, they freeze up because they are thinking and feeling for the first time ever. They feel so validated when someone asks them this question,” said Hasek.

This is a huge first step in helping a man to start their healing journey. Greg’s work has demonstrated that changes in how abortion is talked about with them can help them connect to their real emotions and makes the experience more real for them. At Support After Abortion, we are developing new curriculms to help men heal from abortion with input from experts like Greg Hasek. We are aiming to get at both the heart and mind of a man who has experienced abortion. We currently have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

Double father wound

One-third of children grow up without a father in the home. Before these kids even reach the age of 18, they experience a “father wound,” the distress of not having a father or father figure in their home to look up to, to guide them as they become men, to confide in.

This particular would often reveal itself when the man finds himself in a crisis pregnancy with his partner.

Hasek notes that these men don’t have a father to talk to about it. They have to make this crucial decision without ever having an engaged father in their life. They may freeze or default to the culture, which tells them abortion is a woman’s decision. It is in this situation where men may come across to their partners as uncaring, mean, or selfish. But, in reality, they are in a state of trauma and it comes across in ways that put the man in a poor light.

“A shift in perspective is needed when it comes to talking about not only abortion and men but how we can validate the feelings these men are dealing with,” Hasek said.

If a man has a father wound in his past and then experiences an abortion decision, he now has a double father wound. He has no father or father figure and the abortion decision has caused him to lose the role of fatherhood. This can be devastating for a man and lead him spiraling towards addiction or even PTSD. Compassion for men suffering a double father wound is key for healing to take place.

Men need validation

Remember, today’s culture tells men they shouldn’t hurt from abortion, much less be involved in one in any capacity. That’s a woman’s issue, culture says. And many men who come to Greg Hasek for counseling are going for something other than abortion such as a sex addiction, PTSD, or other trauma. Hasek has found that 30 to 40 percent of his patients who have an addiction also have an impact from abortion. They need healing from trauma just like women do but in a completely different way. They also need validation. They need someone to say, yes, I hear you, I see you, and what you are feeling is real.

Knowing that they need validation and doing it can be two different things. Most people just don’t know how to validate a man who has gone through an abortion experience.

One thing anyone should do first is not mention the word “abortion”, Hasek suggests. Men don’t process that word the same as women. They will be able to connect with the abortion through the role of lost fatherhood.

Validating their wounds can be as simple as saying, “This must be really difficult for you, not being able to fill that fatherhood role.”

If you’re interested in learning more about how to speak to someone who experienced abortion in the past and may be dealing with both the mental and physical ramifications of the decision, Life Perspectives offers excellent training and certification. And at Support After Abortion, we are hosting experts like Greg Hasek at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online men’s conference on October 16, 2021. We’ll be exploring this issue, as well as others that are overlooked when it comes to men healing from abortion trauma. They need to connect to their emotions in order to start healing and connection to feelings isn’t always easy for men.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Lost Fatherhood and Unbound Men's Healing

Pastor Marc Little is the founder of No Longer Bound, an abortion and miscarriage healing ministry based in California. Since the ministry has been in operation, they have helped more than 400 men and women seek healing from abortion or miscarriage. He is a husband, father, and attorney in Los Angeles who works to heal parties who are broken. He is also part of the national, men’s task force at Support After Abortion who has generously donated his time to help men heal from an abortion decision.

Pastor Little recognizes that men have been systematically left out of the abortion conversation due to the position of culture, which says abortion is a woman’s choice, that men should have zero input. But that’s not how it works, as so many of our experts at Support After Abortion have figured out. Men hurt from the pain of an abortion decision and they need resources dedicated to their pain that is different from women.

Reconciling the past

“Men have been shut out of the conversation and once they are given that opportunity to talk about it, they want to,” said Marc Little.

This is a huge part of the healing process for men. Little suggests that men need to “speak the pain”. That’s the first step in this healing journey.

“Words have power. Ask God to heal your broken heart, that you feel unloved, that maybe your dad wasn’t there for you. As you begin to give voice to your pain, the Holy Spirit will come upon you and begin to heal you,” said Little.

At Support After Abortion, we are developing new curriculums to help men heal from abortion with input from experts like Pastor Marc Little. We are aiming to get at both the heart and mind of a man who has experienced abortion. We currently have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

Headship of the home

As a pastor, Little is well-versed on the power of Christ to move within a man and facilitate healing. He also has witnessed the consequences of when the headship of the household has fallen into sin and disrepair and is in need of healing. A house divided against itself cannot stand.

Jesus casted out demons from people and his critics thought he was acting in a spirit of evil. But Christ corrected the crowds, saying that there is no way an enemy can plunder a kingdom if the strong man is not bound, meaning that it would be futile to cast out demons if he was of evil.

“If the strong man is bound, that’s the only way a house can be plundered,” Little said. “Our culture has decayed and our children have been lost because the headship over our homes has been bound. This doesn’t just mean physically strong. It means both physically and mentally strong. The enemy cannot have our children if our strong men are at their post, to protect not only their household and cover it in prayer but to protect their children. We were made to produce and to protect.”

Little encourages men who come to him for help to take their God-given authority and walk in that authority with their family, not as a dictator but following the example of Christ, laying down their lives for their families and loving them like Christ loves His church. That’s the model that Christ gave us.

You, as a man, have a God-given authority, a position to walk in authority. This doesn’t mean you get to be a dictator. It means that you are representing the model that Christ gave us.

And at Support After Abortion, we are hosting experts like Pastor Marc Little at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online men’s conference on October 16, 2021. We’ll be exploring this issue, as well as others that are overlooked when it comes to men healing from abortion trauma. Marc can be reached through his website at No Longer Bound Ministry.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create a dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Healing from Trauma Using the Right Side of the Brain

Greg Hasek has more than 20 years of clinical experience helping men heal from addiction and trauma, with special focus on healing from abortion. He has discovered just how differently men process trauma and grief than women and has found ways to connect them to their emotions using techniques better suited for how their minds work.

“For years as therapists, we have been told we just need to talk to our clients and use talk therapy. But it’s so limited in connecting with males in their trauma,” explains Hasek. “Therapy has been modeled for so long on how women process their grief but men don’t grieve the same way as women.”

Right and left brain therapy

Through Hasek’s experience with men and trauma, he has found they often store their emotions connected through trauma in the right side of their brain. These are where memories that connect with music and video are also stored. So when Hasek was only using talk therapy, he was attempting to connect with the wrong side of the brain of these men – and it didn’t work.

“About 15 years ago, I started using PowerPower slides to add music and video to counseling sessions with men and found that men were connecting to this more than they were in just talk therapy,” said Hasek.

Now, Hasek looks for the right opportunities to use audio and visual components to help men walk through healing from an abortion experience. One of the videos he uses is a rap music video about a man who has lost a child from an abortion decision. The video has more than eight million views yet culture continues to tell us that men don’t hurt from abortion. The rap video demonstrates the grief the artist is going through by showing the decision of lost fatherhood as it plays out with empty swings and hand-drawn Father’s Day cards he will never receive.

At Support After Abortion, we are developing new curriculms to help men heal from abortion with input from experts like Greg Hasek. We are aiming to get at both the heart and mind of a man who has experienced abortion. We currently have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

Caution on sharing resources

While men absolutely do need healing resources when it comes to addressing hurt caused by an aboriton experience, even people who have good intentions can unintentionally cause more trauma if they choose to share compelling videos about an abortion experience like the rap video we share in our interview with Greg Hasek.

Videos like this are used in counseling sessions with Hasek, who uses years of experience and proven methods to help men heal from their abortion experience. No matter how well-intentioned people are who want to help men heal, these videos should not be haphazardly sent to anyone. Hasek is careful and methodical in how he handles the emotions men have been handling.

“By showing videos like this to men without proper therapy and healing resources in place, it can put that person into more trauma,” Hasek explains.

For those who work in healing ministires and for those men who don’t know where to turn for help after an abortion experience, Support After Abortion is hosting experts like Greg Hasek at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online men’s conference on October 16, 2021. We’ll be exploring this issue, as well as others that are overlooked when it comes to men healing from abortion trauma. They need to connect to their emotions in order to start healing and connection to feelings isn’t always easy for men.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Background and Overview of Consumer Research

Support After Abortion and Burger King Have Something in Common

What does Burger King and Support After Abortion have in common? It’s not that they both enjoy burgers, however tempting that answer may be.

The answer is that they both utilize consumer research to understand their audiences, to hone services and products, and to ultimately deliver what people want, or in the terms of healing from an abortion experience, what people truly need.

People want to heal from an abortion decision

Janine Marrone is the Board President at Support After Abortion who has an extensive background in consumer research. When Support After Abortion was in its infancy stages of development, they began learning about what kinds of healing programs were available for people who have had an abortion experience in South Florida where they were located.

“The demand for healing was beyond our local scope,” Janine observed. “We had these programs but not necessarily a lot of demand so it was clear it was a marketing problem or a product problem, where the programs we had were not appealing to the people who needed them.”

Using her consumer industry background, she knew they needed consumer research to size it, to understand the market and modify the product around the demand. Otherwise, they were going to be subject to an endless number of biased opinions.

What is consumer research?

Most any company will use consumer research to understand their consumer base and figure out the best marketing for those products.

“We wanted to pull a sample that looked like America and then pull sample questions based on that sample size,” said Janine.

This is where Burger King and Support After Abortion cross paths. When Burger King launched their plant-based Impossible Burger, they likely did a significant amount of surveys and consumer research to understand their consumer base – where is their target market, what age, gender, and income level are interested in this burger. And they did exactly this. They rolled out the Impossible Burger in dozens of areas around a large town in the Midwest, gathering data on who was buying it, how old they were, what gender they were, where they lived, etc.

In a similar way, Support After Abortion commissioned consumer research when they realized they needed to understand who was impacted by an abortion decision. They sought out a sample of people who had personal experience of an abortion and talked directly to them.

What does consumer research have to do with abortion?

Support After Abortion ultimately did four different consumer research studies, all done anonymously, speaking to both men and women about their experience with abortion. The first two studies focused on women and the second two focused on men. It was through the fourth study that Support After Abortion found the most compelling data that indicated men were extremely impacted by a personal abortion decision.

“Many men in the study wanted to talk about pregnancy loss and miscarriage,” said Janine. “We ended up talking to 100 men who had experienced abortion directly and had remarkable findings. Our culture tells us men don’t care about abortion, that they encourage abortion – our study shows that couldn’t be further from the truth. Men are adversely affected by abortion and are interesed in gaining healing from abortion. They are not not necessarily encouraging abortion at the rate our culture would lead us to believe.”

Men are looking for healing resources

At Support After Abortion, we are developing new curriculms to help men heal from abortion with clinical experts as well the findings from our in-depth consumer research. We are aiming to get at both the heart and mind of a man who has experienced abortion. We currently have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

For those who work in healing ministries and for those men who don’t know where to turn for help after an abortion experience, Support After Abortion is hosting experts like Janine Marrone at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online, free men’s conference on October 16, 2021. We’ll be exploring this issue of culture telling men they don’t need healing from abortion, as well as others that are overlooked when it comes to men healing from abortion trauma. They need to connect to their emotions in order to start healing and connection to feelings isn’t always easy for men.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.

Overview of Men's Consumer Research and Its Influence on Healing Programs

Research involving men who have had direct experience with abortion is scant to say the least. This is not surprising given our culture’s view of men when it comes to abortion: “it’s a woman’s choice alone” culture says. They leave men completely out of the decision. This does not mean they don’t hurt following an abortion. They do. And they often don’t know where to turn when they experience those emotions.

At Support After Abortion, we are developing new curriculms to help men heal from abortion with clinical experts as well the findings from our in-depth consumer research. We are aiming to get at both the heart and mind of a man who has experienced abortion. We currently have extensive content to help men who are wanting to explore healing from past abortion wounds at our website.

Men are searching for healing resources

So what does our in-depth consumer research reveal about men who have experienced abortion? Quite a few remarkable findings it turns out.

Consumer research is standard practice for most large companies as they develop and roll out new products. Janine Marrone, Board President at Support After Abortion, has extensive experience in this area and she used that expertise to conduct polling and surveys of both men and women who have experienced abortion. For the purpose of this podcast, the focus is on the research of men who have direct experience with an abortion decision.

“We learned nearly 45% of men said they didn’t have a voice in the decision and 50% said it was hers or someone else,” said Janine Marrone. “Only 5% or so said it was their decision.”

In other words, 95% of men who have experienced abortion had little to no say in the decision, even though it was their child as much as it was their partner’s.

Additionally, the research found that half of the men sought healing after the abortion loss usually did so within the first two years following the abortion. They were looking for help, Googling with words like “help after abortion,” “shame after abortion.” Many of the men searching for help after an abortion also trended younger, between the ages of 25-44 years old.

The surveys found that most of these men were just not finding the relief or closure they needed.

“Based on what we know in this study, at least 13 million men have been impacted by abortion and would be interested in some kind of healing process for their own personal experience,” said Janine. “Use your imagination. The ability to influence 13 million men in healing from their abortion, what kind of change can we make about the demand for abortion in the United States?”

Abortion Healing Program preferences

Most programs offered for abortion healing for women are faith-based. Support After Abortion wanted to see if men were interested in similar programs so they asked if they prefer faith-based or non-faith-based healing solutions.

The majority of men said they didn’t care either way. They are just looking to help when it comes to healing from their abortion.

Additionally, for women who have had an abortion, research shows they are less likely to go to religious services. But for men, our research indicates it’s the opposite: they are more likely to be pro-life than their partners and they go to religious services.

“Both of these findings we found remarkable,” said Janine Maronne.

Men and their emotions after abortion

Men express their emotions differently than women, to no one’s surprise. As interviews with previous guests on the podcast have shown, men may ask for help when they are facing addiction, PTSD, or anger issues. It comes out later than many of them have had an abortion in their past.

“When we see angry men related to abortion, it’s not because they had the abortion, it’s because they couldn’t prevent it,” said Janine. “This is remarkable in terms of what it is saying about our culture and men’s role in the abortion decision, counter to what we’re hearing in the abortion industry.”

Support After Abortion did not expect these findings and sees a huge opportunity to be that catalyst for change and address this market, these men, who are not being heard. For those who work in healing ministries and for those men who don’t know where to turn for help after an abortion experience, Support After Abortion is hosting experts like Janine Marrone at our Unraveling the Roots of Men’s Trauma online, free men’s conference on October 16, 2021. We’ll be exploring this issue of culture telling men they don’t need healing from abortion, as well as others that are overlooked when it comes to men healing from abortion trauma. They need to connect to their emotions in order to start healing and connection to feelings isn’t always easy for men.

If you or someone you know has been impacted by abortion, you are not alone. Call or text our confidential hopeline at 844-289-HOPE (4673). Women, this is your call: if your partner, male loved one or friend has had an abortion, visit us at www.supportafterabortion.com to learn how to create a safe space, and create a dialogue so more men can receive hope and healing after abortion.